A little help <span title="please.....................?">please......................</span>

Question

my wife had a very hard life... her father raped her many times and was very violent with her......we met shortly after she had gotten away from him.....I was disgusted to hear about the things she went through...we fell in love and got married however she is not comfortable with love making probably due to what what she went through....she isn't comfortable with me seeing her naked...she is ashamed of her body because she was taught to believe she is nothing....she refuses to believe me when I tell her she's beautiful in every single way...she doesn't even like making love with her clothes on .....she knows that I would never hurt her......she just gets really afraid when we come close to making love sometimes she'll push me away or begin to cry or shake and sometimes it's like she can barely breathe even having me kiss or caress her body gently can make her uncomfortable .......how can I make her feel safe and comfortable with me so that I can express my love for her??? I just want to love her like she deserves to be loved.

some people mentioned counseling

what exactly would a counselor do if we saw one???

Answer 1

It sounds like you haven&#039;t been married very long, so I would imagine it would take time for her to become comfortable with intimacy. A counselor sounds like a plan. I&#039;ve never been so I don&#039;t know what to tell you to expect, but this is definitely an issue she needs to work out somehow.

Answer 2

dude youve read too many romantic novels no way is this story real

Answer 3

This is a hard situation, but this isn&#039;t something you will ever be able to help out with unless you know how...I&#039;m sorry to say that even all your love towards will not change this....she does need to see a therapist...because the one good thing in life is that our mind can be change, but know she is fixed on the past and her mind is molded on the past...but with time and help and support from you...her mind and her life can be molded into the present which is the now...and her father can&#039;t hurt her and she has a loving husband, but like I said this is the good news that the mind is flexible and will change to accommodate our new way of thinking which is what she and you have to constantly feed into your knew life&#039;s that you live in the now and choose to change the way she feels....Good luck

Answer 4

give her time....she&#039;ll let you know when she feels more comfortable