A little poem. Check it =]?

Question

Heres a little peom I wrote last night, let me know what you think! all comments welcome

Tarnished

Corrupted interpretations disgracing its name

Intended for eternal joy but bonded with pain

Confused with intense passion or lust

Your heart used as interrupter in which you laid trust

Mind lead astray by compulsive notions

Pitted by false idols is this emotion

Never Jealous and unfailing compassion

The relentless joy is never rationed

Tarnished by ourselves but is a gift from above

Universal yet self proceeded….this is love.

Answer 1

Much better than some of the other c**p that i've seen tonight.  its mature and creative and unique.  good one.

Answer 2

It rhymes, but why is the meaning so common. Come on, write something from your own feelings!

Answer 3

WOW! that is sick kid. I absolutely love it, one of the best poems I have read among all the c**p that floods this site. It offers great passion and emotion and is so completely and utterly true. It is indeed a cliched topic but you did well with it, offered a new spin to an old topic. Overall I love it, I love it, I love it, It is so good. In the future stronger language could improve your writings but keep the flow going like you did in this one (many people struggle with this aspect of poetry.) Very Very Good indeed.

Answer 4

Subject matter is a little cliched, but overall I liked it.

The poem had a beat, all I suggest is that you put in some "scholarly" words to give it a bit less of an open interpretation.

Good luck!