A little task for Jenkins?

Question

The up keep of the manor lately has reached an all time high why even the heating bill alone this month was enough to fund a small war. With this in mind I set Jenkins my 96 year old butler the task of inventing a perpetual motion machine before the end of the week that could power up the entire manor. I must say I was a bit disappointed by his "that’s impossible" attitude!

So as a little incentive I've informed the staff if Jenkins doesn’t invent such a machine I shall have them all used as human dynamos in a giant wheel I’m having built. Is giving Jenkins a week far to generous? I mean time is money.

Answer 1

Thats a whole week he could be in that wheel!

Answer 2

I have Cuthbertson running up and down the central staircase therefore getting hot and causing heat radiation. Beats the jolly h**l out of heating oil.

Answer 3

Personally, I would scrap the idea of the motion device and get him to build a huge wheel. You could use the servants to power your estate and have a fun 'ferris wheel' for the locals. At 10 pounds a ride it would offset your heating costs. I sincerely hope you thrash Jenkins for his defeatist attitude.

Answer 4

whato ,my dear fellow.

i think you have been more than generous what ,

why dont you get him a human sized hamster wheel ,and make him hook the heating system up to it ,then make him run ,,to ensure he doesnt slow down ,you could keep giving him the good old horse whip .

what could be better ,you get free heating and jolly good sport out of it too .

tallyho,what .

Answer 5

3-days is all you should have given him old boy.

The staff better start warming up, they will be turning your wheel before long...

Toodle-pip old bean

Answer 6

have Jenkins, bongo and the Swedish Au-pairs (Inga & sven) move the wheel to the nearest river, if there is none have bongo divert a tributary and have the flowing waters do all the work for you, i recently switched from gas burning candleabras to this new fangeled use of electricity, i buy all my hand made light bulbs from mr. edison in the americas. cheerio!-blurey

Answer 7

This is where youre going wrong, get your lazy butler to dig a 3 foot deep trench leading to the nearest electric pylon it could be miles away but it`ll keep him busy & you`ll have to pour your own whisky but never mind that, then get the bounder to lay a cable from your manor to the pylon, make sure you stand clear as he plugs the cable in as I understand people have been known to frazzle around this kind of stuff...if  he doesnt light up like a christmas tree & the lights come on in your manor house then that is a result, incidently if your buttler does fry & you still get your lights on then thats still a result

Answer 8

If Jenkins fails, you could always burn him on the drawing room fire.  That should generate some heat.

Answer 9

That's overwhelmingly luxuriant time-wise.  On Scrapheap Challenge, the teams are given only ten hours.  

Perhaps you should add another little proviso- that said machine is to be built solely out of household waste such as cardboard tubes.

Answer 10

It simply doesn't work my dear.  Solutions involving the servants as live generators are bound to fail, as they expend as many kilojoules as they produce with the chores and massaging one's feet.  Might I suggest using commoners?  I believe there are commoners who desribe themselves as 'ecologists' who would be happy to reduce your outgoings.  Simply offer the manor for some kind of experimental energy-saving pilot scheme, and they will be there.  As long as you don't mind being invaded by pungeant bearded types, all will be well, old chap.

Answer 11

I have long used my servants to generate power. You should see the look of despair on the face of my 86 year old groundsman when I strap him to the dyna-bike and settle down to watch a three hour epic on my cinema screen.

Personally, I would prefer this method to perpetual motion - it at least goes some way to justify the £50 per month salary I pay these 'people'.

Answer 12

Your to soft with the servants old boy, its a good job that the rest of us ruling classes aren't as soft as you, the country would really be in a mess.

Answer 13

Put Jenkins in touch with this fellow.

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

He may be on to something.

Answer 14

you're being naughty again aren't you? Report to matron - you know what you must take with you don't you.....