i found a website of one-liners and decided to copy the funniest ones =)
enjoy
A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to h**l in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Assassins do it from behind.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Honk if you want to see my finger.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.
Multitasking means s******g up several things at once.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
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