A long time of sadness

Question

some peaple say get over her, forget her, and trust me, I would give anything to do so. But I hold her on a pedastool. Shes my ex girlfriend from over four years ago (*laugh it up, this is serious*). I was 12 and 13 and she was 13 and 14 when we were together. I still cant let her go. Shes etched into my brain, memories, everything. What should i do, help?

Answer 1

It sounds like you're obsessing, which happens to a lot of people, but it can be a life-stealer. You've already lost four years of your life to this heartache.

Focus on what you can do that makes your life worth living. Practice a simple skill (cooking a meal, making a dessert worked great for me). Pick up a new hobby, take an after school class, martial arts, dancing, something to get you out into the world where you can feel like you belong again.

That's what you're feeling isn't it, that you don't belong because you're not with her anymore and that if you could only get back together, then everything would feel better and be right?

Check Wikipedia for information of Obsessive Relational Progression/Dependency, and look into the recently asked questions for a good one on that subject.

Hang in there and practice loving yourself first. You'll be surprised who you find around you once you get to that point. Pretty soon this girl will be a faded memory, and then you won't even be thinking about her at all.

Answer 2

The only one which is making you sad is your self - you seem to be using her as an excuse.

In all honesty, If she isn't thinking of you - you shouldn't be thinking of her. You are giving her the "power" and I can assume she has moved on with her life.

You are young, that is why people say 'young love' or 'first love'.

What you should do is document what you are in a woman.

Because despite what you may think what you had with her was not perfect - but you learned things...... now use that to your advantage and move on - make the list on what you would like in a woman and save it so when you find the right one you can go back and thank the former ones. :)

Answer 3

Make an effort to bring yourself back to the present. All you have is right now. Notice what's happening each moment, you're alive even without her. The clouds are still drifting, the birds are still singing, all without requiring her. Life goes on. Don't hold yourself back from living.

Answer 4

Find someone else...life is too short and you are too young!!

Answer 5

I was with this guy for 3 years, nasty breakup, he said "get out of my life," and stuff. He's still etched in my brain, memories and everything. I would give anything to have it be like it was before. I'm still in the long time of sadness. My advice is to keep yourself occupied, hang out with your friends A LOT, keep a lot of people around you and look at the bright side of the future. You're still young, you have a lot of choices to make. Some people are in your memory forever, and you have to accept that. Good luck. <3 Kimmy

Answer 6

That is normal to feel sad. It will last as long as you need it to, but it will pass. The problem starts if it never passes. Try to involve yourself in activities or hobbies.  Try giving to other people to get your mind off your problems... volunteer for a cause or help a friend.  Work on making yourself happy and making the most of each day. Life is too short.