A lot of people have a problem with harnessing a child...?

Question

but do any of you parents of a ADHD or child with a developmental delay think it is wrong. I mean to use a harness when you are in a big crowd, with my son he gets extra hyper and his body gets out of control when he is in a big crowd. I am asking for parents of an ADHD or Autistic child.

Answer 1

anyone who says a child harness is wrong is a child molester who wants to kidnap your child but cannot because the child is connected to a harness!

Answer 2

my son doesn't have adhd nor is he austistic, but......

i don't think it's wrong. the safety of your child is your top priority, and little kids can be a handful, even without the extra stress of having an extra hyper kid. i think if it's right for you, and it kepps your son safe, then do it. (i hope you mean like a "leash")i want to get my son the kind that is also a little backpack for when we're in airports.

Answer 3

I am the parent of a child with a disability.  My daughter has neither autism or ADHD.  I do know a couple of kids with autism and one with TBI.   One child has a harness, the other two do not.

The boys who do not have the use of harnesses have run off in public places.  At times putting themselves into physical danger because they have no ability to reason the areas they were running into were dangerous.  A harness would have prevented this.

You need to make a decision based on your son's ability.  If the harness does not agitate him and you can use it without causing harm to him or the person using it, by all means I would encourage you.

Your obligation as a parent is make sure your son is safe but also that other people are safe.  When you are taking him out into public you need to be able to control his behavior.

Obviously you are going to get stares and comments.  It amazes me how many people love to get on a soapbox and preach about what they would do, even if they have no experience.  In the end, stick to your guns.  You know your son.  You have assessed the risk.  If you are okay with the practice and it will help you, Go for it!

Answer 4

Not a parent but rather a therapist who works with kids with Autism and ADHD.

My perspective is "is this going to socially acceptable when he is older?" Do you think at some point being seen with a harness will impeed his social interactions with others?

It is easier to get kids to walk beside you and not run off actually at an earlier age. I have kids with extreme cases of autism and the first thing I work on is walking in a crowd and getting those harnesses or "cute little backpack leashes" off.

Answer 5

My son has ADHD and I have never used, nor would I ever even consider using a harness in a big crowd. Yes, he does get very excited when he's in a big crowd and he tends to be more hyper, but he also understands how easy it would be for him to get lost in that crowd. When we go somewhere, I let him know what to expect, and stress the importance of staying with me. I have never had any problems and he's only 6. I think that to harness him would be unneccesarily cruel. He's still a person, not a dog.

Answer 6

My best friends son has ADHD and mild autism. She made the decision to stop using a harness or wrist band when he was about 7 as it distressed him. He is also a big child - now 11 - and couldn't be contained like that without causing harm to the adult carer.

We deliberately avoid busy places, or main roads where he can shoot off, but if it's unavoidable we generally have two people - one to watch the rest of the children and one to watch him.

It has to be a balance between safety, distress and allowing him some responsibility depending on how much your son can cope with - or wants to cope with.

Answer 7

If a child is not distressed by the harness, I think it can be useful.  However, using a harness puts more responsibility on the parent, not less.  While you will know your child can't slip away (a good thing most assuredly) the length of the line and the height it will be it can pose a hazard for the others around you, especially in crowded areas where there is not much room to manuver.  You will have to be able to keep your child close by and have the ability to prevent him from lunging forward.

As the parent of an autistic child...and as many parents will probably agree..if you know your child is going to react badly to a place, then it is best not to go there if at all possible.  Taking him into a setting that you know makes it difficult for him to follow rules he is not able to as of yet is really setting him up for failure. He will not be able to be still (or still enough), he will bump into others and the result is (understandably) an upset parent.  It may be better to give him a bit more time to understand his body, to learn ways to work with it and to find ways to help him cope (headphones if sounds and echos are an issue, sunglasses if he has issues with bright lighting). You should always be sure he carries some sort of ID on him (medicalert bands, lables inside his jacket or inside a shoe) so if he is lost they can get in contact with you.

Answer 8

i think is okay to use. if you don't miss use it (like if they aren't behaving by tellthem if they don't behave i'm going to put you on a leash.) my son doesn't know any better. he has a learning disablity. so if we did go somewhere like the zoo i would use a harness. he is getting to big for a stroller and to heavy to carry. (he is 7 yrs old but a learning and looks , people think he is about 3 or 4 yrs old).

Answer 9

I used one with my daughter with autism. She was not capable of understanding, and still isn't, that running off is not safe.  i didn't use it like a leash though, we put it on and held her hand. It was more like a back-up plan in case she went ballistic. She was very low functioning and we needed to practice being in public without risking her safety.

When she would walk with us while holding hands, we then practiced walking beside us without holding her hand. We did use rewards (mini m&m's) consistently to get her to start. By the time she was seven, we could nearly always count on her walking right beside us. We still needed to pay very close attention to her, there was no skimming the sales racks. In large crowds or loud places (like the mall) she still needs our hand because she gets very excited, but now that she's ten, I *can* look through racks and let her stall a bit to get a closer look at items. As I said, she still does not understand that it's not safe to run off, she stays with me because of the training.

Don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't do with your own child though. You are the only one who knows what he's capable of, and only you know how  much you can take as far as behavior. You can't wait for him to behave perfectly before you go out, because then he'll have a very hard time learning. Good luck.