A misbehaved 6 year old child?

Question

My son is 6. It takes us literally 3-5 times to tell him to do something and when he gets yelled at, the attitude of stomping his feet, answering with a nasty tone and sometimes, depending on the person that is yelling at him, will either spit at them or will refuse to leave the room and sit there. Especially when you need to go somewhere. I feel like all we do is yell at him. I have tried to reason with him, give him 3 chances to listen or he will have time out. To take something away from him wont matter. He does not care if a toy is taken away from him or not. He is not like this all the time. But I have noticed it is starting to come more and more lately. Help. I don't know what to do anymore.

Answer 1

He knows what he is doing is wrong, and at this point since time out does not phase him and taking away things does not phase him, I'd suggest a swat or two on the backside to let him know you mean business.  If that is not your cup of tea for correcting your son, give him chores and lots of them for a week.

He does not need to be told more than once.  Give him one chance to do the right thing and then follow up swiftly with a consequence if he disobeys.  Tell him he can either listen or receive ___________ as a punishment for choosing not to listen.

Answer 2

Amen Reba!!!!

You are so right. Been there done that and now have a very well behaved child. Not saying he is perfect, he is 6 after all LOL. However he knows when he messes up there will be a punishment.

Answer 3

im going through the same situation  with my 6 year old daughter. i am seriously thinking in having her evaluated by a specialist you should too...good luck!

Answer 4

Give him warnings before he's asked to do something. Something along the lines of, "Five more minutes, then you need to put your toys away, and go to bed."

Make sure you get a response from him. If he says okay, then all is well, and you can hold him to that agreement that he made.

If he says no, or argues, then it's time to pick up the toys and go to bed now. Once he sees what the alternative is, he'll readily agree to getting five more minutes to play.

If it's something like wanting things at the store, make an agreement with him before you go in the store. "you can have ONE piece of candy, and that's all. Once you have it picked out, you need to behave so Mommy/Daddy can do the shopping. Get the agreement before you encounter trouble.

As far as his impatience, before you go to the aquarium, make the agreement that if he doesn't want to be carried out of there, then he won't do any whining or crying. It's all up to him, if he gets impatient, then it's time to leave. I put up with very little from my daughter in that respect, but she learned in a hurry, that bad behavior is never rewarded.

He's the child, and you're the adult, and you KNOW your son. predict his bad behavior, and outsmart him before he outsmarts you.

Answer 5

Why are you giving him 3-5 warnings???  Doing this you are just setting yourself up for tantrums and defiance.   Children need boundaries and feel safe and comforted when we enforce those boundaries.  Children act out when the boundaries are not enforced.

I would suggest reading the book Parenting for the Strong Willed Child.

Then you need to give 1 warning and follow through with the punishment.  Do not give idle threats.  He is taking advantage because he knows that you do not want to punish him.  If you stick to your guns and follow through with what you say, after a few days you will see a huge improvement.  The first few days are always the hardest.  

I was in your shoes, I had to change my whole approach because I realized that I was losing control.  and I really do not enjoy yelling at my son constantly.  Being consistent and following through really worked.  My son's behavior improved immensley!

Good luck!

Answer 6

you need to make him truly suffer consequences - at the aquarium - warn him if he doesnt knock it off and grow up you will leave.  and then just leave - dont hesitate.  I realize this might ruin the plans you have for the day - but these are the types of tough promises you must stick to for him to feel the fact that YOU are in charge.  

If he is rude to you at the toy store - put back all you were going to buy and get out

Restaurant - pay for what you ordered and get out

play hard ball, show no emotion. dont raise your voice, be clear on your threat and follow through with your promise.

I had this happen in my family, it completely upset the apple cart for about 2 weeks - but i have to tell - very worth it.  we actually all go out now and it is pleasant!!!

Answer 7

I wish I could cut and paste the last line of your additional comment.....

Something like, "I feel like I cannot win, and I'm the parent".

Obvious you are not the parent, that is why you feel that way, that is why your son acts that way.   He is used to getting a reaction for his actions.  

People do not do things for no reason.  They do things so they can get things done.  Your son is not stupid.  He knows that by acting the way he does, he is going to get something out of it.  It may be attention, it may be whatever you compromise with, it may be that you just give in.  Whatever it is, you reward his behavior and he continues to do it.

My parents used to lock us in the car.... can't really do that anymore, but ignoring the behavior works great at home or in certain public places.  He will hit you when he feels you are vulnerable, like when you are in a hurry or just can't deal with anything else, but just remember you are the parent and have to be the parent above all else.  If you take away the reward, the behavior will stop.

(I  remember watching that funniest videos thing with my daughter a few weeks ago, they had this video of this kid that would throw a tantrum, everyone would leave, the kid would stop, move to the next room and start again.   My daughter thought it was real funny until I told her that she used to do the same thing.... obviously she doesn't anymore and probably not the kid in the video either)

Answer 8

When a child throws a fit because he/she doesn't get their way, they ARE spoiled brats.Next time tell him once, the 2nd time tell him your through being nice , there will be no 3rd time it will be a spanking AND a grounding and you better follow through.

If you do not teach him NOW that we ALL have to do things we don't "want to do" , you will be supporting him when he is 40 and paying his child support to keep him out of jail hon.Spanking a child is NOT pleasant but in THIS case it IS necessary.Spank him hard enough that he doesn't want another , if he laughs, then spank him 'til he isn't laughing anymore.After a while he will get the message.

Answer 9

Start asking him more questions. It's probably attention seeking. If that doesn't help ask a doctor. All kids do that at that age, so don't be worried.

Answer 10

wow geeee..that child is too young now he is become an brat boy..i really idk about,...boy prombles