A poem I wrote dedicated to children that are being abused.

Question

This one didn't take long. It's about a young girl who has a sister that is being treated like a princess by her mother and the young girl is being treated as a slave.

My childhood is scared.

With the marks you left in my heart.

The burden of seeing you treat her better than me.

The pain in seeing you pampering her,

while I work from day-break to dark.

When everyone is asleep,

I lay lifeless,

and silently cry and hope,

for the day when my prayers will be answered.

When I see you laugh with her,

my heart aches to know,

I can never make you smile.

I can never be the one to enlighen your life.

The way you mistreat me proves enough,

it's all I need to know,

you don't have enough place in your heart for me too.

I don't ask of your approval of me.

I don't ask of your love.

All I ask of you is to let me be free.

I am a huge bird in a cage,

one that has been dying to break free.

Answer 1

=O Kay thats some amaizng skills you got there

Lovin the Poem ^^

Answer 2

it doesn't sound like a child abuse poem to me,it's like you need freedom and you're jealous with someone.

Answer 3

WOW!! who knew that Cinderella could be brought to such a deep level. LOL. No but seriously your poem was enjoyed very much by me although I'm not really feeling your last three lines.

Answer 4

although am very tired I shall attempt to address this poem.

It put me in mind of Cinderella ..

but.. those who would criticise, these situations do exist and you have written it down well.

to seek the love of a parent who seems not to notice except for negative attention is a very sad thing.

Answer 5

does this read any better to you. I like a dramatic finish.

I  ask of your approval of me,

though now I need it not.

I ask of your love,

though now I know you are loveless.

I ask of you this most of all

to let me be,

flying like a bird

Instead of

crying to break free,

trapped in a cage

of silent neglect

Answer 6

amazing poem. it touches me close to home in a way as i was raped by my brother a few times, he is now in jail thou

Answer 7

Ok first line: why is she scared just because her sister is treated better? how is that scary??

second stanza: pretty good.

third stanza: kinda seems like a romantic thing as opposed to a mother/daughter relationship.

fifth stanza: the part where it reads "I don't ask of your love." sounds like a total lie and contradicts the rest of the poem.  

And what does being a huge bird have to do with anything. It would have been better if you had said "a huge bird in a small cage." what's to say you're not a huge bird in a huge cage??

Answer 8

1 word... AMAZING! (: