A poem I wrote for my wife, your comments and critique?

Question

Stars

The stars are shining in you tonight

In the sparkle of your eyes

And the silver laugh that passes

By pearly teeth and through your gentle lips.

Jewels in your ears and one solitaire

Hangs in that soft V below your neckline.

You are full of the night's mystery

Brilliance seen from afar.

Can I look to the heavens,

When Heaven is here before me?

The stars will pass with morning

But still I look to you

Not as some distant constellation

In the dark sky of the Night

My own star of the early dawn

Venus and sun's return

Lighting day as well.

Star and centre of my galaxy.

©December 3, 2007, Albert K. Jungers All Rights Reserved

Answer 1

aww how sweetttt!

Answer 2

Oh that's nice. Aww. You wrote wifey a poem. How sweet is that.  

Answer 3

It's a beautiful clear poem of love. (My wife isn't into poetry either, though she has liked one or two I've given her).

Answer 4

awww sweet!

Answer 5

I really enjoyed reading this as I'm sure your wife did as well. I will also mention to you, as I have a couple of others on here, to check out www.triond.com if you haven't already. I think your work is good and should be published. You showed great passion by your choice of words and I feel envious of your wife. :) She is obviously a very special woman in your life and I think it is wonderful how you wanted to express your love for her. It would nice if more men could follow in your shoes!!

Answer 6

A wonderfully descriptive love poem that speaks volumes of true iintimacy.

Answer 7

My (recently late) husband and I rarely went to bed without writing a poem to each other first. These are poems that will never be posted.

Your poem is a tribute to the woman you love. This is how I felt about my husband. It is difficult to read before dawn, but I have done so--twice. Your last stanza especially glows with love.

Answer 8

thats banggin !!! i like really !

Answer 9

Thats a nice light-hearted poem. I'm sure she'll love it!

:)

Answer 10

"Hi!",

That was beautiful.

Lucky Lady.

That's a first when a man is more into poetry than his wife.

Very well written an expressed.

WELL DONE!

Cheers : )

Answer 11

If all the men in the world were as romantic and gifted with their words, and loved as deeply and purely as you do your wife, this world would never be at war -- we'd all be too busy making love not war.  You wrote to her and for her and about her with your heart, soul, and mind.

Exquisite!

T.