A poem i wrote, rate plz?

Question

there is no word for goodbye

looking through a net of wrinkles

i see ur eyes and a beautiful twinkle

the deep dark color in the sea

when i stare you look back at me

looking through a net of wrinkles

i see ur smile that shines like sprinkles

the honest words thatcome from you

stay in my mind because theyre true

looking through a net of wrinkles

i see much deeper and there are no wrinkles

i see ur heart and i know ur smart

with age it warms the heart

and thats the thing that sets u apart.

-forget the grammar just mind the poem, rate it any suggestions and the first line as the title "there is no word for goodbye".

Answer 1

4.5/5

Answer 2

omg that poem is so nice where did u come up with that.

Answer 3

it didn't really get my attention, i was kinda zoning in and out through the first stanza, i wasn't very intrigued by it either. I stopped reading halff way through, can you explain it a little more? I want to know what the poem was supposed to be about, symbolism, language, and significance please. I never knew sprinkles could shine either, im enlightened. If i were you i would work to reword the last stanza. Its a pretty good poem but my aadvice is to shape it a little bit, it gives it more meaning believe it or not.

Answer 4

its cute

Answer 5

there is something wrong with the first line, your lying

Answer 6

it's good.

But honestly it shouldn't matter what we think. We don't understand the feelings behind it. It's your poem about something that you feel. If you like it then that's all that matters.

Answer 7

that is ah-mazing!!!!!!

i love it!

thats like my favorite poem ever!

rating 10 being the best, 1 being the worst:

150

:]

Answer 8

was this poem wrote for your very old lover who likes ice cream?

Answer 9

No word for Goodbye

Looking through a net of wrinkles

I see your eyes and a beautiful twinkle

Deep, dark color, turbulent sea

I stare and you look back at me

Looking through a net of wrinkles

I see your smile that shines like sprinkles

Honest words, spoken, true

stay in my mind, I think of you

Looking through a net of wrinkles

I see your heart, depth and love...

It's pretty!  I would just work on the last paragraph to make it 4 sentences like the other paragraphs.  I played with a couple of words.  Are you in love with an older man? 8 )

Answer 10

its pretty intruging. =] the ryhme scheme is pretty rehersed, but the style is very, i want to say simple, and easy to follow.  which is good at times, but using longer and more difficult words would give it more depth. =]

Answer 11

Nice!

Answer 12

meh

Answer 13

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Answer 14

i like it!!! :D

Answer 15

Nice. =]]

i liked how u made them rhyme.

i never can make them rhyme =/

Answer 16

Hmmmmmm.

Not toooo bad.

Answer 17

i like your thought!