Question:

A poem please comment. (not another heartbrake poem, its different from my others)?

by  |  earlier

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radio blasting at maximum volume

empty bottles rolling on the floorboard

the scent of liquor stifling the air.

drunken laughter

sober screams

rising to eighty,

ninety,

one hundred miles per hour

speeding down the highway to a horrid fate.

blinded by the beer ,

muffled by the music,

he doesn't see the danger.

he doesn't hear her cry.

midnight strokes,

they're long due home.

barreling down the highway.

they near a broken bridge.

her hand tightens grip on his arm.

his eyes look upon her with rage.

and pushes her away.

laughing, he increases speed.

hitting 110 by now

tears roll down her face.

tumbling into the ocean,

plummeting to their death.

their innocent lives taken by a drink.

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8 ANSWERS


  1. I ******* LUV IT!

    UR REALLY GOOD!

    ALMOST BETTER THEN ME! JUS PLAYIN UR BETTER THEN ME!


  2. It's really grrreat.

    [Hey, It's Felicia]

  3. wow.... thats depressing, its good though, but too depressing for me

  4. That was really good! Made me feel sad ( in a good way)

    Great Job! You are better than a  professional!  Usually poems bore me but u did it in a very good way.

    : )

  5. Full of clitches.

    This is original.

    No it's Friday two fifteen,

    she shouted down the phone again

    I'm sure we said at quater past.

    Mummy please dont drive so fast.

    Shut up shut up I'm on the phone,

    and leave the parking brake alone

    now where was I oh oh yes

    now give me the correct address,

    Mummy your doing fifty three,

    Look stop it do not moan at me.

    I really need to think you see

    hold the phone write on my knee

    A  gentle thump, a muffled cry

    Knocked to the ground, there to die

    The lights unseen had been at red,

    green for the walker, now stone dead.

    Good eh.

    No oh well only took five minutes.

  6. its wonderful because it teaches ppl not 2 drink, sad 2, very emotional, your good at this!

  7. Right at line 12 you shoved the meaning right down my throat.  I did not like that.

  8. woow.

    i am speechless!!

    lol

    i can feel youre pain and emotion and anger at the people that cause such horrible things to happen.it see,s as if u are ttalkin about youreself or someone close to u

    its great that you let it all out and formed this wonderful peom

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