A poem... thoughts please?

Question

It touched the orchid texture,

Spilling precious nectar under a setting sun,

But the bees were already sleeping,

Amongst plucked velvet tears,

Hummingbirds still poised in space,

Took in the view,

of a situation too good to be true...

Later that night I went back out there,

Approaching the sweet smell of nectar,

I looked down upon the poison pond,

Stung by the reflection of my own stare,

It became contagious...

Witness to glaring addictions of unknown characters,

Afflicted balance of duel stages...

Answer 1

I think it beautiful, but for constructive critisism sake, I don't think orchids have nectar. Otherwise it makes me very interested in what your deep meaning is and what the dual stages are. Are they seeing the same thing in both a good and bad light. I think you are very talented.

Answer 2

I love it. Bloody brilliant! So evocative and the imagery? Wow! Wonderful work...thank you for sharing!

Answer 3

now this is the sort of poem i like! great imagery and flows really well!! thanks for giving me something decent to read at last!!