A poem to a dark friend of mine--Thoughts?

Question

Midnight

Midnight

Good morning

Midnight sky

I know- it’s me again

Still beating

on my keys

No rest for me

my friend.

The sun will

Soon be here

To chase away

The moon

No need for

sad goodbyes

I know

I’ll see you soon

Copyright 2008

Answer 1

Lonely with only the sky to say goodnight, neither of the earth or mars... somewhere lost in space

Answer 2

hey, i like it. maybe next time you can use better sounding, or more visually stimulating words. like instead of moon you can use luna. instead of goodbyes, maybe farewells, etc etc.

Answer 3

I  like this one--it's compact and direct. The only suggestion I have for you, which you might have something like this already because Yahoo doesn't allow formatting to come across is putting L3

I know-it's me again

in italics and maybe hitting tab once and indenting the line.

Nice work.

Answer 4

Well said and flows well.  I liked the opening.  My compliments.

Answer 5

i like it. in a few places i would suggest some restructureing because the thoughts sound fragmented. mabe find a  rythem or sylable amount for each line or cut the lines where there would be a natural pause.

other wise it is nice, probably one of the better ones ive seen on here

no need to defend it for it is not comlicated at all. what little complexity it has emphasizes your point