Question:

A poem would like comments on please thanks

by  |  earlier

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Don't let childhood wonder

fade away,

remember that day.

That day on weathered sands

an ice cream dripping,

through sand castled hands.

Do you remember

those chilhood days,

flipping pebbles

through crested waves?

Bobby Joe,

my best friend,

wanted the day

to never end.

For young in years

he could forsee,

the embedded joy

and the memory.

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10 ANSWERS


  1. Very nice. specific image for reader to grab hold of. The name Bobby Joe is kind of boring. The last paragraph seemed like it was going to be ominous of some unhappy ending - but it's not. Maybe rework the last paragraph. Or something about the memory fading because he got a head injury or something or over dosed on drugs or whatever.


  2. I like the imagery in the second and third stanzas.

  3. Love it , great writing, you should blog it!

  4. That is very beautiful and meaningful. And i really mean it to.

  5. that is really good. i write poetry. that is a really good one. you should keep writing. you definitely are a good poet.  

  6. ah those childhood days, They were the best of times. I like this poem alot, great imagery and character. well done.

  7. I love your poem :)

  8. Lovely imagery. You can see them!

    I really like it, keep writing!

  9. Very nice. Through the poems we all can visit the memory line

  10. That's really good. x

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