A poem would like comments thanks?

Question

I found myself looking

for answers,

and all along it was etched

on my face,

my reflection don't

look that appealing,

just another soul fallen from grace.

Yet I still have some dreams

to believe in,

I still want the dream, i can't lie,

I still want the song and the old country boy

telling me the reasons why.

Answer 1

dude you need to work on it. It's not horroble by it's lacking struture and life.

Answer 2

I like it, its very good......

Congrats!!!!!

Answer 3

1st stanza -

**Line 5 - Don't should be doesn't

Line 6 - In my opinion, I would take out the word 'that'. Possably use a word such as 'entirely', if you even want to replace the word 'that'

2nd stanza -

1st line - I would take out the word 'some', and not replace it.

5th line - Possably take out the word 'the'

I am sorry I am being so picky. If what i suggested isnt your style, by all means, don't change anything (except 1st stanze, 5th line). when i write my poems, I seem to always enjoy how the poem reads when you take out the smaller, over used words, as long as it will still make sence.

I love the message behind this poem, it is a great start.

=]

Answer mine please

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 4

Like it

Answer 5

Very good poem, I like it a lot. As for "don't" and "doesn't". That's no mistake here, that's artistic license.

Answer 6

I like it a lot.Very deep and meaningful.Keep on writing,and don't change anything in the poem.It has soul and guts