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A promise broken betwwen mother and daughter...What should I do?

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My boyfriend our son and I moved to Florida to live with my mom. We sold our car because it wouldnt make it down here. But we could have kept it and got it fixed, it only needed a starter but the car had 140,000 miles so it was time to give it up. We had an apartment and decent jobs. My mom has been without a job on and off since I was 11 I am 19 now. We have lived in MN, TX, IA, GA, IN, and Fl. All because she has had trouble keeping a job. To make a long story short we have been here a week and she has already lost her job. We havent even had time to find jobs yet. We spent all our money coming down here so we have no way to go back to Indiana. Part of me wants to hate her but she is my mother and of course she deserves better. The other problem is that we have our own room but still no privacy she just walks in on us. She picks with us about little stuff. Example: She will say stop using up all the laundry detergent, then she will ask us why we arent doing laundry. I feel really burdened by my mother. She tries to give us advice yet she doesnt have her own life together. How can I let her know that I dont want her opinion until her own life is together? How can I forgive her for putting me, my boyfriend, and my 7 month old in the position that we may not have anywhere to live and giving up so much to be let down for the umpteenth time? Lastly how can I make her understand that I wont be moving to anymore states with her to be lead into a dead end

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9 ANSWERS


  1. Honestly, you put yourself in that position.  You were aware of your mother's pattern before you left your life behind.  You have to stop coming to the rescue in order for your mother to understand that you are trying to establish your own life.  Make this your last time, work with your boyfriend to get out of there, and do what is right for your family.


  2. I know this is hard for you because she is your mother, but you are a mother now and you have to do what is best for your child.  She raised you and did what she had to do, but now you are an adult and you don't owe her anything.  I know that sounds harsh, but it is true.  Don't deny your own child things because you feel like you owe your mother more.  There are programs and places that will help your mother.  If you leave her, she will not be destitute unless she CHOOSES to be.  

  3. Wait a second...you are telling us your Mom doesn't have her life together??  I hate to say this but neither do you.  You have no job, no money, no car and are a teenage mother.  You made the choice to move.  Time to grow up.

  4. Do not blame your mother she did not force you to live with her, what you should do is move out soon and start again.Good luck

  5. Wow.. I totally feel ur pain sweety. Ur young 'n sounds like u were kinda used as a rebound. I'm only a couple yrs. older than u 'n have been dealin' wit the same sh*t for 2 yrs. U 'n ur boyfriend need to hurry up 'n find urselves decent jobs that way u can get out of ur mothers house. Ur no longer a child 'n everybody deserves their privacy. If I were u I would just sit down wit ur mom 'n tell her that ur not a child nemore, tell her exactually how u feel. U came all that way 'n had to sell ur car in the process.. now ur completely broke 'n rn't able to pick up 'n go back home. U 'n ur boyfriend rn't 15, ur mother shouldn't b burstin' into ur bedroom netime she feels like it, her home or not... thats not right. Ur boyfriend is also a person 'n not her child. I'm sure he likes his privacy. Ur mother sounds exactually like my mom. I love her to death but dislike 'em at the same time. My mom has been livin' off of me for 2 yrs. 'n "can't" find a job.. I can't just pack my bags 'n move outta my own house. But u need to find a solution before it gets out of control. Theres always a light at the end of the tunnel. Just stay strong for u lil family 'n u'll soon b able to get ur own. Make sure when u do get ur own place u tell ur ma that where u go, is where u stay. Ur an adult 'n u don't have to follow her around everywhere she goes. It's time for u to live u life 'n worry 'bout ur family. There comes a time everybody has to grow up 'n she has to face it. Ur a woman.

  6. It sounds like she is exactly as she has been your whole life. Did you really think she'd changed? You knew how she was when you agreed to move down there so this can't have come as a surprise. You should be upset with yourself for the situation your in. This time learn from your mistake and get out of there. Your mom is who she is, who she's always been. Don't hate her but never depend on her.

    You don't have to explain any thing to her, your a grown up and should be on your own. living a life with the family you have created.

  7. woahh..i dont have an answer to ur question.. but this is like.. wow. me and my mom and little sister went to go live with our grandparents in florida, and we had to sell the car cuz it wouldnt make it.. and then like..we had no money to get back to indiana where we use to live.. its freaky how similar this story was.. woww.

  8. well, you know how you mother is!! so why did you believe her? and you know you 3 need privacy to be a family of 3 with no tag-a-longs. so you should have gotten your own place.

    sry to say this but you put your self in this predicament, get yourself out.

  9. well it sound like you are kinda living a double standard because no matter what she is being nice enough to let you and your boyfriend and baby stay there cause technically you are bringing on more baggage  

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