A question about custody and adoption...?

Question

Ok, here is the situation. Someone i know is pregnant and she is planning on giving the baby up for adoption as soon as she gives birth. Nobody knows who the father is because she isn't telling. My friends and I have a pretty good idea though. We think its our buddy Frank.

Frank thinks there is a really great chance he is the father. After he found out she may be giving the baby up for adoption, Frank now wants custody of the baby (if he finds out he is indeed the father).

What Frank wants to know is...

whats the best way to gain custody? He thinks that if he goes after the baby, before she actually gives it for adoption then she will change her mind (since she would want child support from Frank), rather than Frank getting custody and going after her for child support. Frank also thinks that if he waits til the baby is given away, then he thinks it might be too late.

Answer 1

He should file with the Paternity Registry in his state, and the state where the baby is to be born, if different.

His intentions should be totally upfront, if the baby is being placed for adoption.  He does not want to cause some unsuspecting, loving adoptive parents complete anquish and grief!

He should let the "battle" be between he and the birthmother.  Not between he and the innocent adoptive parents.

He could also choose to proceed as if he wants to consider signing, and let the adoption agency or attorney contact him, talk to him.  Then he can just not sign.  Then once the baby is born and she signs, he can immediately call the agency and let them know he plans on pursuing custody.  But he would then have to pay for DNA testing, get a homestudy possibly, and may be ordered to pay child support while the case is in dispute, which may take 2 years!  NOT RECCOMMENDED!!

My advice -- be honest.  Talk to her and state he wants a DNA test the DAY the baby is born!  Settle it then once and for all.

Answer 2

Frank needs to talk to an adoption lawyer. First of all, the laws vary depending on what state he lives in. He should talk to a lawyer asap so that there is no adoption in the process of going through before he gets to have a say. Frank has rights to the child if he is the father. It may be that he can insist that the mother have a dna test done to prove that he is the father. I don't know what the situation would be if she wants to keep the baby just to spite hime? Is that what is going on? The baby can't be given away if the lawyer knows that Frank thinks he's the father. If Frank has reason to believe he is the father, it is his right to require dna testing before she can give up the baby. If he doesn't want to go about it in this way (because of the child support issue) he still needs to talk to a lawyer and figure out how to handle the situation. By all means, he should not wait until the baby has been given up for adoption. He could still get the baby back if he is the father but, that is not the way to handle it. that wold cost more money and ruin more lives and could end up being awful for the baby. Do not do it that way,  please. Talk to a lawyer.

Answer 3

What state do you guys live in?  Check to see if there is a State Putative Father registry, HAVE HIM SIGN UP NOW!  Next, have Frank offer to give the girl money for expenses make sure someone goes with him or he gets a cashier's check and makes photocopies of it for proof.

He should not wait until she actually gives birth because if she has signed up with an adoption agency, the agency will whisk the baby away and hope that your friend is not going to spend his time and money fighting the placement.  

He should tell her up front that he wants the child.  This is the best way to do it otherwise he could face a lengthy custody battle with the agency and/or the potential adoptive parents.

Answer 4

If he isn't named as the father, he can still file for paternity and custody after the baby is given up for adoption. If it's proven that he is the father, he never signed away his rights.... It sounds like Frank should talk to a lawyer to find out what his rights are and what he should do. There is a chance that even after he's proven to be the father, if the judge thinks it's in the baby's best interest to stay with the adoptive family, it could happen that way (I would think that if the baby is still very young, he would get custody... but better safe than sorry). The laws about adoption are different in every state, also... Mom may have to wait a certain length of time before actually signing her rights over, and those changes may or may not be immediately permanent (in some states, parets have to wait 6 months, or have 6 months to change their minds...). I definitely suggest Frank talk to a lawyer! I hope everything works out for him!

Answer 5

She won't be able to give the baby up for adoption until a DNA test confirms whether or not he is the father.  BUT, he must secure a good lawyer to help him with this process.  Good luck to your friend!

Answer 6

He needs to get on his state's putative father's registry, if they have one, ASAP. Once the baby is born he needs to file an acknowledgment of possible paternity (or whatever his state requires) with the court and a petition for paternal rights and get a court ordered DNA test. He can then sue for custody one paternity is established.

He should probably hire an attorney as soon as possible, as each state differs in it's requirements.

Answer 7

frank needs a lawyer. have him ask these questions to a lawyer who offers a free consult. they will be able to tell him how to go about establishing paternity, and tell him what rights he will have if determined to be the father of the child.

Answer 8

If Frank is interested in custody, he needs to speak up now. To give a child to adoptive parents and then take it away is cruel beyond belief. But it may be that he isn't the father at all. If I were Frank, I would contact a lawyer who could contact the adoption agency or lawyer handling the adoption discreetly.

Answer 9

He needs to discuss this with a lawyer. Only a lawyer can give him the right advice on how to proceed.