A question about mother in laws and pregnancy am i being overly sensitive?? please read and answer!!!!?

Question

ok my mother in law 2 be acts so sweet and helpfull with the pregnancy

but when shes upset she accuses me of falling pregnant to trap her son into staying with him she even went so far as to say i poked pins in condoms to fall pregnant

even though it was my partners idea to have the baby

shes said this to us twice once when i first fell pregnant and again a month or so ago

other then those 2 times she acts normal but cause of her saying these twice i get the feeling she dosnt realy like me and shes fake

then the other week sh said when the babys born "SHEE'LL" take it to playgroup with her

and it pissed me off so bad because its my baby and i will be taking it to playgroup she assumed i cant for some reason

and when i told her ill be taking it to playgroup she said ok ill get you into my playgroup its the best in the area

i dont want to go to playgroup with my partners mum esp with the things she said about me i want to pick my own group near me

am i being overly sensitive getting upset over this?? or is she realy a cow

Answer 1

No its your baby. Make the decisions that best suit you and the baby. My mom was over controlling when I went into labor and wanted to do everything my bf was supposed to do. It was a mess. I was in labor and she was fighting with him. Put your foot down before its too late. Go over your birth plan and let her know. I wish I would have! When I tried to tell my mom she flipped out and wants nothing to do with me, which is fine because I didn't need her controlling everything I did.  

Answer 2

Its your baby so you should call the shots ..also you are hot so why would you need to trap a guy...

If you have any identical twin sisters send them my way.

Answer 3

At least she's not accusing you of cheating on him to get pregnant.  My MIL did this and told her whole family about how I cheated to get pregnant because my husband had expessed a fear of it to her.  We were told in Oct 2005 that we'd NEVER have kids without fertility help (we were married for 2 1/2 years at this time and been together for 5 1/2 years).  We had other problems so we decided to get divorced and go our separate ways, but never bother to use birth control when we did have intercourse.  After four years of testing and testing I gave up and decided to not test in Feb of 2006.  After figuring I was 3 weeks late (which was normal for me at times) I took one last test only to find that I was pregnant.  We were both upset, but I was still happy.  

We stopped the proceedings for divorce and worked stuff out and I told him when he asked if I cheated that I would more than happily take a lie detector test and a DNA test if HE paid for it.  He shut up after that and that's when MIL started her c**p.  

At Christmas dinner she made a comment that my daughter looked nothing like her son.  I was a little embarrased and shocked and got really angry.  I told her that if her family wanted to pay for the DNA and lie detectors I'd get one wherever they chose.  My husband and I left after that.  My daughter IS his baby and I've never cheated on him because I respect myself too much.  She still denies that it's her grandchild and is the same with the second.  

As for your MIL, atleast she's interested.  She's being a bit rude, but she's likely more worried about being not a part of it all.  Try to include her in things that won't bother you and try to relax a bit.  You're on edge and she's terrified that she will get shut out.  Maybe ask her to plan the baby shower for both of your families or host it.  You can delegate to her and ask her to phone everyone on the list you make to let them know when the baby arrives.  It sounds like she wants to be a part of the baby's life and is trying to assert herself into your lives too.  She's likely just lonely and really excited and worried at the same time.  Try to make her feel accepted and she'll likely love you more than her son LOL.  She's not really being fair in the way she's going on about it, but she's likely just worried that her son could be had.  If it was his idea to have the baby and you are, then you know the truth and you shouldn't let her get to you.  Let her say whatever she wants, in the end she'll look like the idiot.  I wouldn't make her a BFF or anything, but let her do certain things that will make her day and won't be a big deal for you.  It'll give her something to do and feel accepted and get her out of your hair :D

Answer 4

Let her talk...doesn't mean u have to listen or do anything she says, so y even bother getting upset about it?

Answer 5

shes really a cow

Answer 6

haha 'is she really a cow' - lol.  Listen, it's your baby so you do what you want.  But as for her - I have seen my own mother basically treat me at times as if I was a surreogate mum for her and the baby is really hers.  Also, you wouldn't believe the amount of crazy advice she's come out with.  I suspect you would because it sounds as if you're going to hear it too!!  I think it's best to get a sense of humour about this now because we can't change these people and we do have to live with them.  This little baby is going to adore the old trollop - baby won't know or understand that she's a catty control freak.  All the baby will know is that this lady really loves her to bits and lavishes affection and cuddleson her.  And that's a good thing because it takes a Lot of peole to raise a baby.  Of course you need to control the influences around your child and not be dictated to - and no, you're not really being overly sensitive because these wimmin would steal your thunder if they could!  Sometimes I want to shout: look women!  you had your turn!  This is mine!  But I understand that she loves the baby and try to chill out when I can control myself.  As for the bitchy comments your MIL-type made: that's unacceptable.  There's nothign more I can say on that one.  I can't help wondering how you found out about her saying that.  If it's being told to you 3rd party by your partner etc.  I would tell him bluntly never to tell you hurtful things like that - you can't control them being said and they do no good.  If the fishbake said it directly to you, I'd tell her she needs to respect the mother of her grandchild way more.  She's lacking class and she's stupid - most MIL's know bette than to try to break up their children's partners - because all that does is stop them seeing the baby, and stop their children getting to see them grow up every single day.  You could remind her of those consequences, but really just knowing that you have the power to bring them about should help you shrug off her remarks.  Don't let anyone upset you - esp. not stupid old wimmin with no class!

Answer 7

no you are not being over sensitive.....but to put it mildly..she is letting you know that SHE feels that you are not good enough for your son. most mums feel the same...but are not so rude..as to say it. alot of mums would be willing to see that their son is happy, and likewise they would makthe effort with their daughter in law. did her son (you guy) say anything to her with regards to her behaviour???????

did he defend you???

what she is trying to do is take control......cos you and especially the baby are, from now on, going to be his priority in life, she is jealous. and trust me...when she tells you that 'you got pregnant on purpose, to trap him'......she means it. and at every socail gathering....and every argument....she will dish that right up to you..again and again and again.

your fiance, really needs to set the boundarys here...and he neeto tell her what is exceptable behavior and what is not. cos if he doesnt then she will take every oportunity to make you feel bad.....and if their is an audience watching.......then thats even better..for her.

tell her straight...and if all else fails, and if after years of trying to make her see that you are a worthy daughter in law....(like me)....then simply cut her out of your life..(like i did)...,,.....see how quick she changes her tune then!......... chin up :)