A question for moms, from a 17 year old girl, about communication?

Question

I live with my aunt. We're still greiving over our moms death. "Mom" was my world and my aunts too. My aunt is my whole world now. I do everything with her. Shes my best friend...

Recently we learned my father (her bro) got married to my biological mom. Now my aunt is always screaming that I "want" to live with my "parents" now that they're together. I calmly explain to her everyday that I love HER. I want to stay with HER. But she just ignores me and rambles on that I'm lieing and I "want" to live with them. I cry and hug her to show her how much I love her. Today it got nasty though, I exploded, and I put her shot gun to my head so she'd just HEAR me. I know that was SO wrong and immature. but she just won't LISTEN. I do everything I can to show her how happy I am with her! But when I do something wrong (ex: didn't clean..I'm house keeper) she takes it as a threat like I want out of her house! and now im in trouble for the gun..

How do I show her I love her? I'm crying so hard

Answer 1

SEE! That action would NEVER work with me. You put a gun to YOUR head with the threat of pulling the trigger...and I will show you where the trigger IS.

NEVER put up a bluff that you do not intend to go through with...cuz I don't bluff. My cards are for real.

HOW does putting a shotgun to ones head play a useful roll in communication? ALL in the room are in an intense and agitated state and you did it to COMMUNICATE? d**n girl, where did YOU learn the art of communication, from Saddam Hussein?

Answer 2

Your aunt is probably depressed and stressed and projecting her anger and feelings onto you.  If it's to the point where you had to put a gun to your head maybe you really do need to leave.

Don't EVER do anything like that again.  She won't "listen" cause she's grieving and not thinking logically right now.  Tell your biological parents what's really going on.  You need some adult family intervention ASAP.

Answer 3

Your Aunt needs to believe you and stop messing with your emotions. She sounds a bit unstable. Yes, what you did was EXTREMELY wrong. That just makes her think that you are insecure and unstable. You need to show her how level headed and mature you are. Tell her that you know you belong with her. If you are living with her, that tells me that your biological parents are unfit, or you wouldn't have been with her in the first place. I don't mean to say that your Aunt seems unstable, but she needs to handle things in a positive way, not screaming and making you feel bad. She is most likely still very torn up by the loss of her Mom, as I'm sure you are. Maybe the two of you could go to church together and talk to the pastor about your issues. Most pastors are very willing to help out. If you are not comfortable going to a pastor, you should see a counselor/therapist that can help you work through your problems in a positive way. I wish you the best of luck, and please don't do anything stupid like what you did before.

Answer 4

u shot urself..what do u mean? u actually did it?

Answer 5

Write a letter and leave it by the bedside! She probably get to emotional when both of you are talking to each other so maybe writing to her can allow her to read and understand in a calm manners. :)

Answer 6

As much as you love your Aunt...maybe you should get away from her for a while. Why don't you take on a stay with your parents. Just on a trial basis/short visit to see how it is there and to also get away from your aunt for a while. You both sound very unstable and are feeding into each others issues. A break from each other might just be the answer. If you find that your living situation would be better with your parents...move in...no matter what your aunt thinks. This is YOUR life and YOUR decision. Don't let your aunt make you feel ungrateful or guilty for wanting to live somewhere else! She has had her young life...you are due one too! Either way...your home life now is unhealthy. Make a change and maybe you should talk to a counselor about your feelings about all of this...it might help you sort out some of the emotions your having.

XXXXX

Answer 7

maybe you should leave and live with your parents.

your relationship with your aunt is some type of dependence and not healthy for you guys. you need to start a new chapter in your life and leaving will hopefully make things better and who knows maybe you will live with her again later.

All your frustration with her is not healthy for you. Be selfish and think about yourself and your health.

Please hunni you would never want to end your life for another person.