A question for women. Do you think India is a sexist country to live in?

Question

Is it hard to be a woman in India? I am from New Zealand & I am mortified when I hear of Indian women having had a burning tyre put around their neck. Why does this appalling practice exist? Does it only happen with the lower caste Indians?

Answer 1

Putting a burning tire around a woman's neck isn't common. There's a reason why those things make the news. Would you like it if Indians started to think that white people are cannibals after hearing about Jeffrey Dahmer?  

Yes, Indian culture can be sexist, but so can Western culture.

I'm an Indian brought up in America, so I have two sides of the stick.

- Indian culture traditionally ignores sexual abuse victims and would rather care about preserving female virginity and family honor, BUT I've heard a lot of Westerners blame rape victims as well.  So, what's the difference?

-Indian culture looks down on divorced and remarried women, but is lenient towards men doing the same. BUT,  I've seen Westerners (especially Catholics) also gossip about divorce and remarriage, such as accusing women having 2 or  3 husbands as being "whores" or accusing kids of divorced parents as being screwed up.  There are several facebook groups created by Westerners discouraging divorce without even investigating as to why people divorce (if a woman is getting beat by her husband, hello), so how is that different from Indians looking down on divorce.  

  In my life, the most sexist remarks I've received were from white males. Man, when I lived in Alabama..that had to be the worst experience ever! Alabama is where the most backward and prudish white people live, and those people are no different than the people in India you speak of.

Answer 2

It is, but it's getting better.  Sati (bride burning) and dowry deaths have been outlawed, though they sometimes still occur.  Gender-specific abortion has also been outlawed, but again, it still occurs.

"Eve teasing", a deceptively euphemistic term for sexual harassment and groping of women in public, is still a serious problem, despite efforts to stop it.

Vanessa, these examples exhibit something wrong  with India, not something right with the US.  We can still do better.

Answers: I did say it was getting better, or did you only read the negative things I wrote?  Yes, other outlawed acts do take place in other countries, but the question was about India.

And some things that SHOULD be outlawed in India are not.  A man still cannot be charged with the rape of his wife in India.

Answer 3

It is not an ideal country where I would want to raise a daughter.

Answer 4

Lyanthya, I would appreciate an example of anything that has been outlawed and doesn't happen at all.

Murder is outlawed. It still happens.

Robbery and theft are outlawed. They still happen.

I could go on. That isn't something unique to India.

And sati doesn't happen anymore. Not at all. And sati was a woman voluntarily, or by force, jumping in her husband's funeral pyre as a widow, not as a bride. It isn't 'bride burning' as westerners call it. Any knowledgeable Indian will testify to that.

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Answer to the question: Not really. Sexism against women isn't as intense as it was, say, in the 80's. Seeming 'discriminations' actually have very good, logical and practical reasons behind them. And women actually have an advantage in divorce and family issues. And they are protected by pretty strong laws:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dowry_law_i...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in_4QhWQa...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sk-RCM8b3...

So being a woman in India isn't hard. That burning tyre thing is unheard of. Why do whites have such incredibly biased ideas about India? We don't have such ideas about your people after all. Amazing how people want to deny India's greatness by cooking up myths.

Damsel in Distress makes things clear. You people are sexist and racist. We give women all respect and treat them next to God. We call them our better halves. No ritual in India can take place without the wife/daughter-in-law.

But you people would be wrecked if Indians stopped coming to your countries. You need Indian brains to become great and develop. Ask NASA and the USA. Give your benefactors some respect.

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EDIT: Lyanthya, is this any short of what you are doing? (focussing only on the negatives)

The problem with westerners like you is that they think they know more about India than Indians like me do. You don't. You only see the bad news. BBC and CNN are obssessed with reporting bad things about India and Indians (Yes, I do watch those channels). If NDTV and Aaj Tak did the same, you people would consider it a national calamity. Call me Hitler-minded, but I see the extreme levels of tolerance among Indians as something to be fixed along with feminism.

The Anti-Dowry Law was introduced in the 60's. 98% were falsely accussed. But the dowry stats never changed.

The Domestic Violence Act was introduced in 2005. It never changed the stats. It only increased the number of men in jail.

What I'm saying is that India has no dearth of strong (and unfair) laws, but seriously lacks implementation and enforcement of said laws. Feminists in India aren't understanding something that simple. They (and you) only see laws, laws and more laws as a solution. You never see that these are used properly.

It is not like dowry happens in the south, DV in the north, rape in the west and so on. They all happen in the same place, and there is no police station where these things happen. And there are no foreigners where these happen either, so the asker is safe. Isn't that what she was asking?

You want a law that convicts a husband of raping his wife? You'll get it soon, and it'll go the same way as the Dowry Act and the DV Act. Only the number of men in jail will increase. The number of women raped by their husbands will not.

Enforcement, not laws is the solution.

Answer 5

No. No burning tyre put around the neck. India is no so backward. Exceptions everywhere. NZ is not 100% perfect.

Answer 6

Definitely. A surprising number of Indian companies force women to log their menstrual cycles in the workplace to ensure they do not get pregnant. It's disgusting and backwards.

Answer 7

And you feminists are complaining in america that you have a rough time.  Get outta here!

Answer 8

The lower class Indians who live out of the cities in other villages are more likely to be uneducated and living under old village/religious ways from yesteryear.  Abortion clinics thrive in India because male children are the natural selection.  Unfortunately, it will take a massive change in their thinking and old customs before India can be completely fair to women.

Answer 9

Not to be rude but I just have to let this out: EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD IS SEXIST IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. There is no egalitarian utopia, and if you've found it then let me know because I'm ready to move. Some places are just more equal than others. Both women AND men have laws and cultural expectations that make their lives harder than they need to be. All we can do as individuals is work on the issues most important to us and strive for equality as we see it. As for India, sure theres tons of sexism there. Theres also racism, diseases, intense poverty, a lack of education, and a lack of resources overall for the population. Is it hard to be a woman in India? That depends. Go to India and stay at a hotel. I can assure you that a vistor with money (woman or not) will be treated like royalty there. You will NOT have a hard time in India. Now a woman (or a man) in india who comes from a low caste, has nothing to eat and is sick from a preventable disease will tell you a different story. The bottom line is, life is always hard if you are poor, ignorant, sick, and a social outcast-whether you have b***s or not

Answer 10

I guess it would depend, I'm Ethiopian & many can argue that Ethiopia or any place in subsaharan Africa is terribly sexist, it all depends on how progressive your family is really.

Answer 11

Its sad that only such negative and rare cases are highlighted in western media. This is not the truth, ok cases like you mentioned do take in rural india where people are illiterate etc. but I live in Mumbai and I enjoy life to the fullest just like any girl in any part of the world.

Your question is a bit ignorant and generalizing if you ask me.

Answer 12

I think India is facing much bigger issues than whether or not it is sexist