A question for women who have given a child up for adoption?

Question

Do you remember you're childs birthday? Or do you move on with your life and gradually forget about it? I've just asked a question on adoption (Thanks to the people who answered) and it's got me thinking, as i'm turning 18 on Friday.

Do you remember and ever think about them on their birthday?

Answer 1

I'm not a birthmom, but I am in contact with my birthmom, and with my son's mom as well.

My mom spent the first thirty-one years of my life getting blindingly drunk on my birthday.  Forgetting is not something mothers do.

My son's mom generally gets together with us on his birthday.

If you are turning 18, and starting to think about searching, good for you! There are lots of free websites to register on if your state won't release your original birth documents.

I searched after watching my son's mom go through the relinquishment process.

Answer 2

yes you always remember their birthdays, and you get depressed, cause you want to be there when they blow out the candles!!   no you never forget!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   it is very hard to move on,  you think about them all the time not just on their birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

Hi Penny,

I have not given up a child for adoption but I used to foster pre-adoption babies.

That was twenty years ago and I remember everyone of them and their birth dates.

I am sure your mum remembers you but to what extent no one only she can answer.

Be happy. x

Answer 4

My friend gave a child up for adoption and a day does not go by that she does not think of the child. She keeps a diary that she writes in just in case the child and her are reunited some day.  When I had my son, my friend was depressed for a long time. I don't know if other people go through this , but my friend still mourns.

Answer 5

my son will be 38 this month and i could never forget the day he was born even though, due to circumstances, I had to give him up for adoption and have no idea where he is.

Answer 6

I lost my child to adoption a long time ago. I never forgot his birthday. I recently went through old journals of mine and looked at what I had written on his birthdays. Sometimes I wrote about missing him, sometimes it was just a couple of words, but I always thought about him on his birthday.

Often I would spend time alone on his birthdays wondering what he might be experiencing, what he might be doing at that particular age. And it wasn't only on his birthday. The days leading up to his birthday were hard too. And just different times throughout the year I would find myself watching young boys about my son's age and try to imagine if my son was doing similar things, wondering if he was okay.

I've talked to a lot of mothers who have lost their child to adoption. I've never heard of a mother who didn't remember or think about her child.

Answer 7

My Son was born February 28th,1988 at 7:12am.  He was 21 inches long and 7 pounds 12 ounces.

I would never forget such a life altering event.

Yes I did have to give him up, I was to young and already had one child. I did what was best and I do not regret it.  I loved him enough to do what was right.

There is no way that any woman could forget a child, reguardless of their circumstances.

Answer 8

Ghost should not assume that because he has had a bad experience that everybody's experience will be like that.

I am also adopted and have thought about that, i think that they must remember you and especially on your birthday

Answer 9

Very few women forget their child's birthday.

Of the small number who do, I guarantee you, it's a result of the trauma, and it's either the result of PTSD, dissociative disorder, or both. It's not they forget their CHILDREN, it's that their mind automatically shut down and blocked out a traumatic memory.

As for me... absolutely, I remember my daughter's birthday and give her gifts every year.

Birthdays are often very hard for us.

Edited to add: Forgot to say this: it's not just birthdays that we think about our children. For most of us, not a single day goes by that we don't think of our lost children. Not a single day.

Answer 10

I gave a son up for adoption after my daughter was born. They are 13 months apart and I was very young and knew i didn't want to raise 2 beautiful children on welfare. He was born on Dec 2nd 2004 at 11pm weighed 7.9lbs and I think about him all the time and know he is in a good place! I will never forget him or the day he was born but I do not regret giving him a good home with good parents. I still get information and pictures but I don't interfere with their lives. Of course he is only 3 and will know about me and his sisters and such when old enough. A child given up for adoption out of love is never forgotten! I can't speak for any other reason though.

Answer 11

Move on

I called my grandmother for the first time a few years ago to ask about the father I never met.  She told me to leave them all alone.  It is better to not endure the pain, and just build your own family.  When you have kids, I am going to assume you will not be forgetting them, or their birthdays.

I think my real mother remembered my birthday to a lesser extent when she was alive, but I was not raised by her either.  

Blessings :)

Answer 12

i cannot speak on the part of a mother who gave her child up for adoption, but i can speak on the part of an adoptee and a mother. i have shed at least one tear on my birthday every year. i'm not unhappy or sad at all, i just cry. and being a mother myself, there is no way that i could ever forget the day that my children were born, even if i had given them up for adoption. child birth is something so special that you would never forget.

Answer 13

hi

i have been adopted and i dont even know who my mum dad but i know my sister and brother but make sure you keep in contact okay x*x msn:[e-mail] xxxx

Answer 14

Wow. I'm not trying to be rude but, I have no adopting experince. But if you like I'll be your penpal until your strong again.

Answer 15

Well i can't really say anything for expierience but i am going to be giving a baby girl up for adoption in March, but i dont think i will ever forget her birthday or her in general i mean it mihgt be nice to move on but it would be awfully hard to do so. It will also be very hurtful but really i will always think of her even tho i most likely will not get to know her. I take it you are adopted so i am sure your mother thinks about you all the time.  Well that really isnt any of my business but i just wanted to help...

Answer 16

i gave my daughter up for adoption and i never forget about her and i think about her ALL the time.  Her birthday is the same day as mine and i buy her a small gift on her birthday and i buy for her at xmas like i do for my other kids. I still have her pictures and proudly have them posted for all to see.

I could never ever forget about a child i gave birth to, it is hard to move on in life but i do for the sake of my other kids.