A reposted trigee? What do you think?

Question

This is my first attempt.

We sit here crying.......Inside these cold grey walls

For our lost father,........Green suits approach the door,

But he is gone, gone.........So sudden is the news.

To a place that we cannot follow.......We hope you like heaven, daddy.

Answer 1

Thats really good! (Much better than I can do.) Keep working on it and it will be perfect!

Good luck, I hope I helped!

Answer 2

I think you did an excellent job, though I am not any where near the master (creator).

Answer 3

Wow .  Im speachless.

(Vote me as best answer)