A rewritten, reposting of an old poem of mine. What do you think of it

Question

TD - don't read it (you saw the old version - and it hasn't changed much)

In the style of Robert Herrick's -

To the Virgins - To Make Much of Time

Make haste to frolic in the hay

Sunkissed and sweetly singing.

Ye cannot ignore the passing hours

And what fate may be bringing

As swift the orb its voyage makes

From east to welcoming west

Thus life will its brief journey take

Twixt birth and eternal rest.

The morrow's but a breath away

Casting shadows on thy face.

Hence must ye fill each enchanted day

Before life moves on apace.

Steal kisses now, beneath the bough

Whilst lips are pure and sweet

Banish sombre furrows from thy brow

And encircling sorrows cheat.

Young men will ne'er a maiden spurn

And may buxom matrons kiss.

Yet this lesson ye must learn

Wrinkled crones he'll surely miss.

Answer 1

OK, I didn't read it, especially the part about the buxom matrons.

Answer 2

It's kind of sad.  Makes me fear getting older even more...But I think the point of it is to tell people not to take time and youth for granted?

Answer 3

I read the first verse and then dozed off.  Here's one for you:

There was a young lady from Ealing

Who had a peculiar feeling.

She lay on her back

Opened her crack

And pissed all over the ceiling.

Now that's what I call poetry.

Answer 4

Granny, you have now identified yourself as part of that conspiracy you so feared, and I could not be more delighted.

When up the thyrse is raised, and when the sound

Of sacred orgies flies -- a round, a round!

When the rose reigns, and locks with ointments shine,

Let rigid Cato read these lines of thine.

Thank you for reminding me of Herrick, and thank you for this verse.

Answer 5

I also saw the old version. Both were/are superb, as usual.

Answer 6

I love this one, missed the 1st. I am not qualified to offer critique, but I do like 'escape' better.

I fall somewhere between young and old, and never was I buxom, but I love the message!

Thank you Granny.

Did you notice your question does not contain a question mark? What the.....?

Answer 7

I love it! If there were so many "carpe diem" poems then, it was because people had an acute sense of time passing, while nowadays, especially with the Internet, everything is on the same level and many people have lost the sense of history. Ah well, I am talking like a wrinkled crone, while I would much rather be a "buxom matron"!  

"Ye cannot scape"?  

Answer 8

It is pleasing to read, and pleasing to hear.  What more could I ask of a poem?  Well done GJ.

Answer 9

Let's better say for some ones:

Not only b*****s perform you in stiches.

Everybody is full of their own, aren't they?