A sad story. Can u help??

Question

a lot of c**p happened at home and my mom and dad got separated. Then my mom started dating someone else why they were separated and my dad called her a cheater. She basically fell in love with this guy and she wont leave my dad. Now she has to choose. I've been telling her to choose the other guy, but i dont know if im right. My dad out our family through a lot but i still love him. Am i justified in telling mom to leave him?? It isnt like he hasnt had multiple chances to fix his problems, but now he is alienated from the whole family. I dont know what to do!!! My mom and dad are always arguing and it hate it. But am i right. Please help me.

Answer 1

Uhh, from what you said your dad should divorce your mom. Not the other way around, seems like your mom is the cause of all the fighting.  So no your not justified.

Answer 2

Please don't put the weight of your parent's marriage on your shoulders.  Adult relationships can be very complicated.  You do not know enough about your parent's relationship or the history of it, to be giving any advice, sorry to say.  It's tough to be in your situation, I am sure.  But keep in mind, you did not cause the problem, and you can not solve it.  It is up to your parent's to resolve.  I know that is not what you want to hear, but that is the truth.  From the outside looking in, if your parents fight that much, at the very least I would suggest counseling.  At the very most, divorce.  For now, if I were you, I would simply offer a sympathetic ear to both sides, as requested.  Though if your parent's were smart, they would never put their children in the middle of such a complicated situation.

Try not to worry, hon.  Although you feel like it is your problem, it isn't.  Just keep loving them both.

Answer 3

your mom should not involve you in adult decisions. if you think you need to tell her something, then tell her she needs to grow up first.  

Answer 4

Sweetheart, right or wrong, you have to stay out of it. Its up to the adults involved to work this out, and you taking sides isn't going to help resolve these matters, and may lead to resentments if you do.

Your Mum has to decide what is right for her, by herself. The reason is, if at any time in the future she has regrets about whatever choice she makes, she can't blame you for forcing her in one direction or the other. Just let her know you will be there for her, to support her, whatever her choice is, and they are her choices to make. She is an adult, and you must treat her as one.

Just think, would you want her deciding in the future who you can or can't be with? To force you to take a decision you may not have done otherwise? No? Then don't do that to her. I know your hearts in the right place, but now you need to follow a cooler head.

Answer 5

your just a child... So I guess ur parents separated got back together and decided to try again and ur mom has a bf... well for one thing this should not be ur problem but u got to understand one thing when ur mom let ur dad back in the house she should have let go of the bf so in a way ur dad is kinda right but not all right....now he should just leave ur mom and he might be happy with what he can find out there for himself... and ur mom needs to let him go... it seems like ur mom wants both but she can not have both sense it hurts you what u need to do is sit down and talk to ur parents and let them know they are diving u crazy.... hope that will help....  tell ur mom not to be selfish and let ur dad leave so he can find someone who will love him....

Answer 6

Your parents should not be putting you in the middle of something like this, it is their private business,  

Answer 7

stay out of it and let them sort it out.

Answer 8

Stay out of this one, let your parents work it out.  I realize you want to help, but it is their decision.

Answer 9

Leave your parents to decide as they know best young one.

Answer 10

remember this is not your fault. Yes your dad has lost his chance and the new relationship is not promised to be fight free. I think your mom should of stood single. But hopefully it will all work out for the best for you.  

Answer 11

Your feeling guilty because  your mom found someone she fell in love with and should be with. Those are natural feelings to have because you feel obligated to your dad too. all we want for our parents is for them to be happy, that's all . you are right , Your mom deserves to be happy and to love the man she is with.dose that answer your question hon? Good Luck and stop worrying things have a way of working them selves out.

Answer 12

Dwight's right...

Answer 13

This is a decision to be left up to your parents. You can give your mom all the advice you want but ultimately it's gonna be up to them to choose what they wanna do.  I feel that at this point if your parents are always arguing, you need to step in and tell both of them how it's affecting you.  It's VERY likely that they are so wrapped up in their own bs that they are forgetting about your feelings or even taking into consideration that this is affecting you.  I'd talk to them about how you're feeling about the whole situation.  I'm a divorced parent of two. My daughter is 14 and my son is 10.  I never knew until much later how our arguments, actions and behavior affected our kids.  I regret all the stuff that happened during the friction between my ex and I.  I had to take my son to therapy for 6 months to straighten out the problems and let his bottled up emotions flow.  My daughter still has issues with everything and the hardest thing was having to accept that I put them through this.