A scaffold poem (Todd inspired). Would you like to emulate?

Question

This poem is written using George Meredith's poem Lucifer in Starlight (1883) as its scaffold. You take a short poem, and between each line of the original you place a line of your own.

Then, take away the original poem and edit the lines you have written.

Prince Lucifer's midnight flight

Vestments of the night he donned

To fly to realms fresh and unassailed.

Into dwellings close-locked and barred

Where huddled those sinners

Soothed by misplaced hopes.

Each victim, maimed, in the dust was laid

And soaring, unfettered to territories new

He swooped and soared unallayed.

Across continents where old wounds

And sores from old scores were found.

Reviving memories of ancient battles fought.

Facing defeat he skyward set his course

For the portals of light from celestial spheres

Yet trembled anew at Gabriel's majestic might

His army of angels; seraphim and cherubim.

From whose power he could not break free.

A fallen angel can never find true sanctuary.

Answer 1

Hi I am just drooping an answer because you answered my question about my quote which was: "There is a devil hidden in every angel, there i an angel in every human."

I dint believe I am a cynic or the phrase is a no-no. I believe in angels my self and I didn't find this at all disturbing. I appreciate that you took your time to read my quote and to give me your opinion but I don't think you understood the quote it self what shows me that you are a good poem writer but you don't understand quotes, thoughts or poetry fully. Unless you wrote it your self. What I was trying to say with my quote was that there is good in everyone but there is also bad and that in some the good rules over the bad but there is some cases it is the other way around. Now I ask you ( with respect of course ) what is your case?

Answer 2

This is the best scaffold poem I have seen. The last line is worthy of the Masters. As usual, you have outshone us all. This one is going on a long journey next year.

Answer 3

I love this, breath-taking! go Granny!

Answer 4

I may not have the years to emulate this.  Outstanding, all of it!

Thanks so much!

Answer 5

Of course this poem would be posted during the Yahoo glitch and no one could see it on here.

I love what you've done. You've taken a difficult poem (a narrative from a different period no less) and brought out something really good.

Your first three lines are especially strong:

Vestments of the night he donned

To fly to realms fresh and unassailed.

Into dwellings close-locked and barred

You set a great pace and tension for the piece here. Nicely done.

I love the idea of Lucifer soaring across the earth stirring up:

"Ancient battles fought" and "sores from old scores"

You also manage to end on an excellent final line. I have never attempted a poem this difficult from the scaffold exercise--my congratulations.

I hope you had fun with it.

Answer 6

I love the way these always seem to turn out so elegant and sophisticated in the hands of an able poet.  It certainly seems a difficult challenge and you managed it skillfully.  Excellent job as always, Jill.  You are an undeniable talent.  I will have to try one of these just as soon as I locate my muse.