A serious question about adoption?

Question

I've heard that if you have gave your child up for adoption and it was OPEN adoption, there is a way you can get that child back if its been within a certain time span, such as if you've gave your child up for an open adoption within the last 10years, and you want your child back and go to court you can most likely get the child back. My friend got pressured into giving her chid up by her parents and heard this rumor, and i want to know if its true or not. Somebody said this law is going to "pass" in the next few years. I've tried looking for information but have had no luck. We live in Iowa if that makes any difference. Her daughter is now 4 years old.

Please no negative comments. This is something serious that is tearing my friend up, she knows if she took her daughter back, if she could, it would be a horrible thing to do to tear her away from her "mommy" and "daddy", But i just want to know for my own being, so keep your smarta$$ comments to yourself, thanks :)

Answer 1

i'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but open adoption doesn't allow the firstmom (birthmom) to reclaim the baby after the revocation period is up. in most states, a woman has about 90 days to change her mind. if this time has elasped, she would have to prove that she was lied to, or gave up the baby under pressure that was against the law.

ETA: i think the new law is rumor.

Answer 2

Once you sign the final paperwork giving away all your parental rights, you are done. It is legally binding and you have no rights to get your child back.

Answer 3

sorry,...it's too late:(

Answer 4

I do have judgments on the fact that she is going to permanently  traumatize her child but that's all I'll say on the matter.

But from a legal standpoint she can't. When she relinquished  her rights then that was pretty much it. (as someone who has gone thru the process) The lawyers explain that you can not change your mind once its all done. Legally she has no "rights" to her child.

There is a small window where your case could be heard and a judge will decide but it is only 12 days after....and even that is a BIG if.

The adoption is most likely already final a couple of years ago, which means its FINAL

I am sorry that she is going thru pain with the whole process but if she accepts the fact that her child is happy and cared for then it will help her get over her grief...she will never forget but she can learn to be happy for her daughter..

Answer 5

i know that this is a very sensitive subject, however your friend needs to think about her child and how much of a negative effect it would have on her. This child has been with those people for 4 years and unless your friend has been a part of the childs life than i dont think she should take her back. Why did she not try to get her child back sooner? i am not trying to be a b******e just gathering information. Did she recently turn 18? Think about how devastating it would be for the adoptive parents to have put so much love and effort in this child and then have to give her back.

adoption.com

In many cases, termination of parental rights is voluntary, and the birthparents willingly relinquish their parental rights by signing the appropriate consent forms. (The time frame during which birthparents can "change their mind" about adoption after signing consent forms varies greatly from state to state; however, after the adoption is finalized, it is extremely difficult to overturn an adoption.)

Answer 6

I am not really sure in your state... but my experience with my son that was adopted was.. once the adoption is final it's final.. and there is no turning back... The fact that the adoption is open just means that you and the adoptive family have contact... and there is a registry so that once the child is old enough they are informed and can find you if they wish to...  Best wishes to your friend... I wish I could help more ♥

Answer 7

I know how it feels .........I have a little girl She just turned 3 last month I haeven't seen her since March of 06. If there is some chance for us to be togather again  PLEASE!!!!! COULD YOU LET ME KNOW???????

                                         [e-mail]

Answer 8

I have NEVER heard of this 10 year rule.  I think most who have already posted here are right.  The window of opportunity for changing your mind about an adoption is very short, usually just a few weeks.  

I believe the only way your friend might be able to get her daughter back is if her adoption "fails", which means that the adoptive parents return her to Social Services.  It does happen, but is unlikely.

Answer 9

i thought open just meant that you could keep in contact with the child and the family.  i think it's final.  it would really scar her  if she did take her from them.

Answer 10

each state is different but there is normally a 6 wks pd then after that there isnt anyway to get the child back. if its a open you can see the child but not allowed to take it back.

Answer 11

i haven't heard of any law like that. I can't imagine one passing in the United States like that.

good luck, please post if you find one.

Answer 12

i believe that different states have different adoption laws.  in connection, i have to assume an agreement with another answerer that "open" means that the child can try and find you sooner or later through the records that will be made available to her when she's old enough.  not open in the sense that she can come and take the child back anytime.

your friend has to be fair to the people who adopted her daughter, assuming they are being good parents to the child.  they deserve better than to have a child they've loved and cared for for 4 years taken away just like that.

Answer 13

I think the law is pretty clear that once the adoption is final it is final. If the adoption is not final then of course she can fight it, but within the past ten years, I personally have not heard of it being done.

Answer 14

Our son's adoption was final when he was 6 months old. Legally and irrevocably, we are his parents.

I do hope your friend considers the only life, and only parents the child has ever known before pursuing any legal action. To me, tearing her from the arms of the only Mommy and Daddy she's ever known, to heal the ache in her own heart, is about the most selfish thing she could do.