A seventeen old lier?

Question

Plze xcz my bad English! I'm from Sweden.I work in a preschool. A teenager who has misbehaven his school but now wants to be clever again come to my preschool four days a week. He well start up again in August with his school where he will learn to work in a preschool and work with youths in their sparetime. But his goal is to study more after that. He wants to be a policeman. In january he struggled on and ran to the preschool when he was late in the morning, but now he has begun to lie, I'm sure. He "forgets" to call us when he is sick, and today he dissapeared after his rest in the afternoon.When I called hin some hors later he told me that he had vome illness but now he felt better. I told him to stay home tomorrow too. I don't believe him!! In the same time I want him to take care of his life and not throw his chances away. WHAT SHALL I SAY WHEN HE WILL PROBABLY APPEAR AT THURSDAY ??? He is VERY fine with the children. I know that I'm not his mother, but I want to see progress!

Answer 1

You are a service-oriented business. You MUST have responsible people working for you. He's not being responsible. The pre-school is not his home, you are not his parent. With his job responsibility, He must realize the work place is not a place to goof off and act like he's at home where he can do as he pleases and get away with it.

As a former employee supervisor, I would handle his situation this way:

1) Give him a verbal warning. (talk to him and tell him what is expected of him and what you will do if he continues)

2)  second offense: Give him a written warning that spells out the violation, and that one more infraction will result in his job termination. He must sign this or be terminated on the spot.

3) third infraction : termination!

You may already be at point 3, and feel like you need to terminate him.  REMEMBER: how you handle this is not a personal attack against him; it is simply taking a business approach to a situation that could hurt your business or even jeopardize your preschoolers.

Answer 2

Sure he's lying, and though he may not know it he needs your help. You need to talk seriously with him in private and tell him what you think. Also tell him it is normal for us to avoid the things that scare us but that does not make them go away.

Most importantly let him know that he can talk with you openly about anything at all and that it is totally private.

I've had similar problems about avoiding difficult things in my life. I have learnt that we avoid things because we have 1001 fears about possible problems. In reality only one or two of those things may actually happen and I am more than capable of dealing with them if they do.

It says a lot for you that you want to help this guy, so many would turn their back on him. Stick with it - of course you might fail but that is no reason not to try. That goes for him too.

With best wishes

[edit]

I would suggest his basic problem is fear. Could be drink / drug related. Cannabis can promote anxiety and paranoia. Could be an unstable home life. Being late, not showing up, he is afraid he's going to be found out as being 'no good'. Tell him just how 'very fine' he is with the kids and that you value his skills. He feels bad about himself and wants to hide, show him how good he really is.

Answer 3

I am sure that it can be very frustrating for you to try and help this young man learn when he doesn't seem to take anything seriously.  You should try sitting him down and explaining to him that he needs to take his responsibilities at the preschool more seriously.  Make sure that you explain that you are not just being mean, but you are honestly concerned about his future.  Explain to him that if he is unreliable in his future jobs, that he will never be able to keep one.  Perhaps he find working with the preschool in taking up too much of his free time.  You should talk to him about reworking his schedule with your preschool.

Answer 4

i think he's lying to be honest. maybe its a case of it being fine for him to be there to begin with then like as you say disappearing on his break because he's suddenly 'ill' might just be because he's bored of it by then

if i were you i would just take him to one side and ask if there is anything bothering him either at home or work that you should know about as its affecting his attendance obviously.

then take it from there.  otherwise just keep a little record of when he is there and when he isnt and the excuse he gives you at the time.  if it gets ridicuoulsly out of hand with being late/ not turning up then see a senior member of staff (if there is one)

Answer 5

Hi Nicki, I finally found you from your other question!  This teenager does not need to be enabled in any way.  He is working for you, even if he is doing only service work through his school.  If he cannot be responsible, he needs to suffer the consequences of his behavior.  He needs to learn that now, instead of later in life.  It will make the rest of his life easier.  

You need to tell him if he cannot be on time, stay at work and preform his duties properly, that he cannot return.  

Good Luck.