A simple etiquette question?

Question

My friend invited me on a trip to her friends house an hour away for the 4th, and asked me for gas money, now she does this a lot, as in invite me places and ask for gas money. I understand the gas prices are high, but if she invites me, and was going there in the first place (with or without me), should I have to fork over the cash? And I certainly don't like that she brings up when on the occasion I don't pay her for certain things, instead of all the times I've bought her food, when I didn't have to, or gave a few dollars here and there for gas money when she did Not ask...is it just me, or does this seem a bit wrong?

Answer 1

Yes i think it is wrong that she should ask for gas money, she was going there anyway so that doesn't seem fair just because she decided to bring a friend.

Answer 2

you're right to feel a little offended, i have a friend that does this religiouslyalso (that is asks for gas money when she's already going to make the trip if i didn't go.)

you can do one of two things to help with this:

1) (what i did) tell your friend how you're feeling. If you're good friends and you pose it in sort of a "joking" or "lighthearted" manner... saying things like "It's not the end of the world or anything, but-" or "It's not that i want to be a diva-" They will most likely understand if you pose it like you're doing here- that is arguing your side well. (my friend did)

2) you can simply suck it up one more time- and when you start inviting her places do the same to her- carefully placing the point that you often pitch in should she oppose.

It's a precarious thing dude. I hope this helps.

I know that everyone's hurting with the gas prices- aparently drivers and carpoolers alike.

Answer 3

More than a bit wrong.

Answer 4

Yes, if she is INVITING you, then I find it very rude of her to ask you for money. Next time she invites you you should ask her if you're just tagging along so she can have extra gas $$$. However, if I invite someone along with me and I don't expect them to pay for gas, its still nice of them to offer it.

Answer 5

To be perfectly honest it is VERY wrong (excuse me I don't want to be rude) but according to all rules of ettiquete the host takes care of the costs. And if you are paying for gas that often then I would say all your little past debts are paid of my friend, she can't hold them over your head any more. It would be completely different if you were OFFERING to pay, but she has no right to ask for the money, and especially not to guilt you into it. I'd turn her down next time if I were you. That's just not right. Best of luck.

Answer 6

If she invites you then I would consider that a gift. I would not expect anyone that I invite to travel with me to fork over anything other than respect while in my vehicle or at the friends house.

Answer 7

shes using you.stop it now before it gets worse and you will regret

Answer 8

She's probably broke... I'm not saying her constant money requests are "ok" cause she's broke, just giving you logical reason.

I'd decline the next few invites, she'll eventually ask you why aren't joining.... be honest, say "I can't afford to hang out with you anymore, you cost me too much!"

I've had to say that before, it worked, they chilled out and stopped treating me like a bank.

Answer 9

you shouldnt have to pay for her gas even if its alot of money

Answer 10

I am a very overly generous person so if I were in your position, this would probably make me feel somewhat insulted. If I invite someone to go somewhere, I NEVER expect gas money, especially if I were already going there. Maybe your friend just assumes that is what everybody does and since she has done it before, thinks it is OK. I would not go very many places with her unless I really had to or truly wanted to very badly. I have a friend who always pays for my meals so I try to do things for him here and there, like surprise him with a book he wanted. He does not comment on the fact that he paid for meals, etc. But some people are like that. So, yes it seems wrong to me, but maybe your friend and her family are used to doing things this way. Maybe you can bring it up in conversation, like talk about someone else you know and how they invite people and consider it gift giving.

Answer 11

well i understand that friends always share what they have but i agree that she is going a little overboard. you should probably find a way to tell her that it is wrong...otherwise she'll empty out your pockets

and the fact that she brings up occasions where you dont pay her is just rude

Answer 12

Yes, this does seem very odd and rude of your friend. You were invited as a guest. It would be different if you asked for a ride or if it was a mutual decision to share the costs of travel.

I would talk to your friend and let her know how you feel.

Answer 13

Do you enjoy her company?  If you do, none of these stuff matters...maybe, she's short for cash, or maybe, she's just tight w. money...she's just different - like you are.  Maybe that's why you guys get along.

Answer 14

its very rude of her. if she wants to take you somewhere, then she should be willing to pay for the gas. it is very generous of you to do that but you should talk to her about it =]

Answer 15

tell her how you feel!!! friends shouldn't hide things from each other! plus if you never bring it up, its never going to get resolved.

Answer 16

That's rude of her.You have no obligations toward her,so,she shouldn't expect for you to pay for her,you're not her parent or husband......and not even those should pay.She lacks morals and common sense.

Answer 17

shake the coins out one by one...lol good luck.

caution: your arms may become extremely tired.

Answer 18

if she would go anyway without you, then no she shouldn't ask.

if it was a colective idea, or something she wouldn't do without you, then you should pay half.

but if she's running on fumes and uses your money to fill up... that's not right.

Answer 19

You should just be like, "Really?" next time.  Tell her that you're not trying to be rude, but if she's going to go somewhere anyways, she'd be paying the gas in the first place.  Honesty is always the best policy.  You might save her from asking the wrong person one day.

Answer 20

i agree thats almost like if you go to a birthday party and its not yours' but the hosts make you pay for pizza or something

Answer 21

It is kind of weird that this would keep happening to you, but maybe you need to ask your friend about what's going on. She is the one to invite you, so maybe you could split gas money fifty-fifty, because the prices are ridiculously high and its unfair for either of you to always pay the whole bill. Good luck!