A small excerpt... read and review? :]?

Question

A small excerpt. All are welcome to read, and tell me what you think about it:].

<i>Somehow foreshadowing just doesn't quite cut it</i>, I think, and am immediately disgusted with myself. A simple exaggeration does not result in a liar, and neither does one impractical utterance; similarly, just because these untruths are sweet, faraway desires, that does not make them attainable. McKinnon is not a monster... she has sharp teeth and tackling tendencies, but no malice or vehemence. A wishful mind.

Answer 1

i dont like the line &quot;A simple exaggeration does not result in a liar&quot; it sounds a bit too.. i dunno, i just dosnt sound right, take away the word faraway from this bit &quot;these untruths are sweet, faraway desires&quot; make it sound more natural.

Answer 2

I like the comparisons that you drew and how you put the whole thing together. I love this part:

&#039;...A simple exaggeration does not result in a liar, and neither does one impractical utterance; similarly, just because these untruths are sweet, faraway desires, that does not make them attainable....&#039;

Very well written... where&#039;s the rest? You got my attention now.