Question:

A story, prose or free style, and what do you think of it?

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The Photographer,

He walked along the newly opened jetty

which had been closed for two months

while new safety posts had been put up.

Taught wires had replaced the old wooden

railings and these hummed as the cool Bay

Breeze blew in from the south.

The narrow top rail had been replaced by

a much wider one, this he noted would be

a boon to the fishermen who often used

the old “T” shaped jetty to fish off, and the

the new top rail would be much more

convenient to scale their catch instead of

having to use the old decking.

He reached the head of the jetty and leaned

on the new top rail, noticing the word “Kiaora”

had been carved there and along the inner

edge of the rail notches had been cut to hold

some fisher mans rod, while they perhaps

baited their other rod or warmed his hands on

the cup of hot tea brought in a thermos fask.

The winds could be cruel to the hands of those

who braved their cold breath.

The man looked into the slate blue water of

the bay and noticed the schools of Hardy Head

swimming around the stout wooden supports

of the jetty, and wondered just how many had

been caught in the casting nets of those who had

fished earlier that morning. He had noticed as he

walked along the jetty, the tell tail wet patches

on the decking where the nets had been laid so

that the small fish could be picked up still

wriggling to be placed in a holding container,

later to have their heads snapped off and their

lifeless body’s expertly sewn onto a chemically

sharpened hook.

He looked across the white caps of Morton Bay

towards Stradbroke Island, (Quandamooka)

one of the largest sand islands in the world. A

watery looking sun was half hidden by the gray

white cloud which always seemed to float

over the island. Fingers of light, straight as

arrows buried themselves into the soft body

of the island warming it against the chill of the

early morning.

Dunwich, the islands only town was just visible

as a smudge on the far off shoreline. The mans eyes

strayed towards where he thought the home of

Kath Walker (Oodgeroo Noonuccal) would be.

He had met her once at her home and he had

read all of her poetry and short stories. He had

even called his home after the place where her

father used to sit on the beach, "Moongalba"

which means Sitting Down Place.

Kath had died some months before but he could

picture her in his mind teaching a group of school

children the ways of the Australian Aborigine. He

sighed; the spell was broken, two fishermen had

arrived to try their luck. One is company but three

is a crowd, he rephrased the old saying as he

made his way back long the jetty towards

his home to record what he had experienced on

his computer, and send it off to some poor unfortunate

who might get some pleasure from the sights and

memories he had so fondly recorded through the

lenses of his eyes, and developed onto the

photographic paper of his mind.

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4 ANSWERS


  1. It looks and feels like prose you didn't know how to puncuate.  And you need to spell check it.

    I would expect more imagery if this were a free style poem.


  2. Robert, you've done it again.  I see all these (for me) exotic places

    through your clear eyes.  Wonderful, Sir.  Thanks for this gift!

  3. Could use some more grammar, but otherwise it's pretty darn good!

  4. You make what could be quite tedious, easy to read. It seems a bit heavier than the last piece I read of yours.

      

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