A sudden breakup; I feel better about it, but i still need answers!!?

Question

This guy, for now, we'll call him Joel, because that's his name. Hah. I know he doesn't come on here so he'll have no idea I'm doing this...

Anyhow, me and Joel had been dating for 4 months, and it was going FAIRLY well. He had his arrogant moments, and most of the time, didn't like to do or talk about things he didn't enjoy. I could handle that, yah yah yah. He even had little pet names for me, that surprised me, coming from someone as cold as him. Because he is a pretty cold guy. But he seemed really serious about me, until this past week; he stopped calling, and refused the offer i gave him for him to come stay at my place for the weekend (and because weekends are the only time we get to see each other, this infuriated me)

So anyway, I got really sick of the putting off, and I did something that you'll all probably yell at me for, but I hooked up with someone else at a party. NO, no s*x involved, just a lot of intimacy, and at one point, he kissed me. He's just a friend, and still is, by the way, but that's not the point. I guess I needed that night because the way Joel had been treating me that week, and most of the time, was a little self centered of him, and I just wanted some love.

Alright, so, yesterday (Saturday), I was pretty sure I wanted to end it, and we did. But how it went was a bit like this...

"hey, I can tell your not really into me anymore, so whats going on with us? i want to know whats happening in my own relationship!"

"I'm going to a party, you figure it out"

And then, my complaining took place, and we agreed to just end it. Just like that. Neither of us cried, or even budged. Generally, I felt overly happy. It was odd.

The thing is, I really liked him not even a week before this. And he liked me, for as much as I knew. But we were just to content with ending it.

I realize he's every guy here; he was nothing special. And I realize now that I put too much into the relationship, and he didn't put enough. But even now, today, when I asked him if we were "cool", because I don't want him to hate me or anything, he wouldn't answer. He won't even TALK to me now unless it's about something he wants. It's pissing me off.

What the h**l happened here? I need answers, because he's not giving me any.

Answer 1

He was probably just mad or even upset about the relationship ending and decided not talking to you was the best way to go.

Its his loss, not yours so just stop calling/texting (or whatever you're doing) and ignore him... by the sounds of it, he wasn't worth it in the first place! So move on... You'll find someone so much better in the future.  

Answer 2

You made no mistakes here. Naturally we all desire companionship, and you took matters into your own hands. My opinion for you and this situation would be this: There are many men who are searching for women like yourself, someone who is thoughtful and ready for a relationship. You will definitely find someone who appreciates you, so don't give up out there, it will be a challenge to find that special someone, but it will be well worth it. I would not call him, wait till he calls you, give him time to miss you, and at the same time, date other people, have fun out there, and just be yourself. Your positive and optimistic nature will definitely attract that special someone. Good Luck!!  

Answer 3

He sounds like an arrogant, self-serving jerk.  Be happy it's over and now you can find someone new.