For the past one and a half month, I have been in contact with a girl,
she lives nearby my workplace. Since, it's a semi-village atmosphere, it is very difficult for us to talk. So, we just look at each other and slowely we began to rely on each other. Sometimes, she just sits opposite to the window of my office so that I can see her. She doesn't show interest in any other person, even though she is a very beautiful girl and every boy in the locality tries to impress her. I am just Ok type as for my looks. We are very much like friends and never thought of any other relation (physical relations) than a nice friend with a very goods heart. Slowly, she became a part of my life and I think that I reserved a place in her heart. And it was definately more than just flirting.
When, I came in contact with this girl, I have absolutely lost my interest in life (due to the bad phase, I was going through since the last one year, and even think many times of sucide). But when I look at this girl and she also started giving me recognition, life became something that can be worth living. She slowely became part of my life.
Well, three days ago, I tried to contact her to give her my phone number as I was planning to change my job, so that we can remain in contact with each other through voice. This contact was meant to be private but somehow it gone public and to avoid bad name, she said that -- "Are you gone mad! and You are not as good person as i think before. I was stuck by it, as it was the first time in my life that I try to gave my contact no. to any girl.
Now, the situation is that every person in her home and in my office knows about this. And I was going through h**l from the past three days. I am feeling so much of guilty and immotionally broken, while I was used to be a very strong immotionally.
All I was thinking is that -- What she gave me -- an inspiration to live, as a good friend will do and what I gave her back - a bad name. I want to appologise, but she can't be contacted. I hadn't went to my job from the last three days and absolutely blank as what to do now.
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