A tragic death at the Olympics in China?

Question

BEIJING. Chinese officials have reacted with disbelief to the news that one of the most popular Olympic mascots, Happy China Lucky Dog-Beast With Welcoming Smile, has died in a local veterinary clinic. Initial reports suggest that the mascot, a Pekinese, died from catastrophic lung failure brought on by inhaling asbestos and rush-hour traffic fumes.

Early reports are sketchy, but news coming from the Chinese capital suggests that the dog's handler, 22-year-old Pi Yi, has been detained by police for questioning after apparently failing to cover the dog's snout with a protective air filter.

Police would neither confirm nor deny that they had visited Yi at his family home, but the local fire department conceded that it had responded to a fire at the Yi home yesterday, which was apparently set when Yi's 87-year-old grandmother sprinkled kerosene around the flat, tied herself and her family to the radiator with duct tape, beat her grandson unconscious with a lead pipe, and threw a stun grenade into the blaze.

Speaking to selected media outside the Mao Lucky Dog and Happy Kitty Veterinary clinic, tearful vet Yang Xia said that Happy China Lucky Dog-Beast With Welcoming Smile "probably died instantaneously" after inhaling a lung-full of Beijing air.

Happy China Lucky Dog-Beast With Welcoming Smile will be buried on Monday, with full military honours. His ashes will be shot into space in October, and are expected to shower down over Beijing, mixed with a compound of mercury, acid rain and raw sewerage, in early 2009.

Answer 1

LMAO...FUNNY STUFF...although accurate!!!LOL

Answer 2

Maybe they must come and relax in South Africa a bit in order to get the poor things geared up again

Answer 3

So. Alf...plagiarism now on top of everything else? Nice try, but we all know you're too dumb to think up something like that...

Answer 4

very good ,well written and amusing,thanks.  

Answer 5

Good one Alf

But you have to see earlier movies of England in the cole towns don't think it looked match better back then

Answer 6

lol, you are a witty genius!

I want whatever your having.

Answer 7

I actually thought you were being serious.  as in the earlier news report of a serious motor accident which has killed several Chinese nationals.  

Answer 8

Strang I would have thought they would of had a party and brai the dog.

Ja.

Answer 9

WOW!!!! You must be pretty feckin bored to come out with this rubbish!

You poor individual. Credit where credits due, it was quite an interestingly portrayed story. Very well written! Hope you find something to do and cheers for the two points.

Ciao.

Answer 10

yes well, you've certainly done your research,poor dog

Answer 11

Dude your stuff is hilarious!!!! Its even funnier when people answer without paying attention.  

Answer 12

I think this is not a true story: that dog was probably eaten by some one now they invented this story, or the CIA killed it.

Answer 13

I hope i am as agile when I am 87 - what a brilliant woman Yi's grandmother is, being able to beat her grandson unconscious with a lead-pipe and throw a stunt grenade into the blaze - and all while being tied to the radiator.  Hope she didn't die.  We need elderly people of that calibre in our society.  She could teach the SAS a thing or two.    

Answer 14

Thanks for the smile :0)

You should post this in the dog section, where your sure to get a bite.

In response to your question - A tragic death indeed, especially when added to dodgy fireworks and a buck teethed diva.

Answer 15

No death, just made-up stuff.  This information comes directly from the satire site hayibo.com.  

Anyway, here is a link to the site which I easily found by Googling "Happy China Lucky Dog-Beast With Welcoming Smile".  If a name seems too hokey to be true, it probably is.

Answer 16

lol. Why is this in the South Africa section.

Edit - I should add that I found it very funny x*x

Answer 17

Once again, very entertaining, Alf!