Question:

A tribute for Siren. What do you think of this poem?

by  |  earlier

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When I heard of Siren’s death, I remembered a sweet woman who was so thankful that people would care about what she wrote. She will be missed. I wrote this Villanelle in her memory. Blessed Be my friend may you have peace.

The First Day Without You

I lift my head and my tears mingle

Seamless with the falling rain—Siren from TearDrop

I listened as your song faded away

For you were drawn from us beyond the shore.

The clouds never stopped raining on that day.

I lack the words to speak, to even pray.

The sky seemed empty, no one to implore.

I listened as your song faded away.

Your childlike joy no longer on display

The words we wished to say we now abhor.

The clouds never stopped raining on that day.

We beg, we plead, we wish that you could stay,

But while we slept your spirit looked to soar.

I listened as your song faded away.

Our thoughts are muddled lost in disarray

We try to fix on moments from before

The clouds never stopped raining on that day.

O’ Blessed One, your life a sweet bouquet,

You’re off to find bright worlds to explore

I listened as your song faded away

The clouds never stopped raining on that day.

Villanelle criteria: http://www.elfwood.com/farp/thewriting/2...

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17 ANSWERS


  1. Very fitting..sad...but beautifully written.


  2. What can I say? - a villanelle fits as an eulogy so perfectly, and this is perfect.

    I, too have been re-reading her recent postings and see some-one who had an ethereal presence, a serious explorer of the religious world, but with an impish sense of fun.

    I will miss her.

  3. that is a lovely poem, you are a natural.

    good job, keep up the good work

    god bless laney

  4. A very moving tribute to Siren.  The style fitted your emotion and presented it smoothly.  She will be missed.  Her poetry will live on.  And your poem as a testament of her.

  5. Todd, your poem is a beautiful tribute and makes me regret that I did not know Siren.

  6. Oh, that's so sweet, I know she would have loved it.  Which Siren are you talking about???

  7. Though I'm still very naiive in terms of poetic form, I hope I'm allowed to say that this was extremely beautiful.

    I do miss Siren, and I've been re-reading all of the e-mails she sent me...She was sweet, and I'm sure she would've loved this too. <3

  8. Your poem soars. May it reach to the heavens.

  9. amazing. to have the ability to touch so many hearts with your words. i am in awe.

  10. Bittersweet, since loosing a Friend is like this. Fond memories, and the sadness of death. A beautiful tribute Todd, if there is an afterlife and her spirit does go on, she is smiling ,from all the love and respect she has received!!  Cheers !!

  11. It's absolutely beautiful, Todd.  I'm sure your words have reached her spirit.

  12. awww im gonna miss her!! loved reading all her poems ect.

    this is a wonderful tribute to her and im pretty sure she would love it!

    blessed beXD

  13. nice tribute

  14. A beautiful villanelle, and quite fitting. I remember on the day she died, my friends and I were there with the family, comforting, helping plan the funeral. When we drove away, the song "What a Wonderful World" just happened to be on the CD we were listening to. At that moment, it started pouring rain. Siren loved the rain...so you see, your villanelle not only touches me emotionally, but it has amazing accuracy as well.

    Siren never believed in coincedences. Neither do I. Thank you, Todd, and Blessed Be.

  15. Very beautiful tribute, Todd. Her passing has shocked and touched us all. She was always so kind to my work and I enjoyed her emails as well. Very sad day today.

  16. wow Todd!!!

    amazing!

    i like how you did your villanelle version!

    just came from your previous one.

    so i see the power of this now

    when you speak to a real now moment.

    and what a great gift for us to read for Siren.

    disarrayed is the word for this. i just dont get it!

    it was going just fine.....

  17. As always, Todd, a lovely work, and a wonderful tribute.

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