A wedding invitation is received it says ' the wedding is at such and such a place, please bring your own?

Question

chair."

In the reception invitation it says ' the reception is potluck, please bring a dish'.

What would you think when you read these?

Answer 1

I personally am definetly not going to be the wealthiest bride on my wedding, but I WILL provide my guests with seating, and  definetly provide them with food!  The only thing that I would do that would even be close to their invitation request would be to have my mom help ME make a whole bunch of food for the reception.  But that would be a headache, for me and my mom , so therefore would be my last option.

But besides that, it IS their wedding, and they would be extremely heartbroken if the people they invited didn't attend just because of that request. (and for all you know, maybe they don't know that it is a little out of place to request chairs and food from their guests....I'm guessing this is their first wedding they have had to plan for themselves.)  Maybe you can help out, and offer the bride and groom to provide the seating yourself! (as a wedding present maybe?)

Answer 2

I know about the bring your own chair thing.  Been to a wedding like that. Chair rental wasn't possible for that weekend.

Potluck receptions work really only for relatively unplanned weddings.  For instance, a couple decides to marry before he is deployed (and we've actually had 3 of those in the 6 block neighborhood in the last year) or when about to leave for college or some such thing.  Usually, it's a small affair in the back yard or at a park, unless you have a large family.  Not some place I would expect to find bridesmaids and groomsmen, but certainly a dressed up bride and groom wouldn't be unusual.

However, I gotta say that with the proliferation of delis at grocery stores and Sams Club/Costco, I think a potluck has become rather tacky if you live in the city or suburbs.  You can get 5 trays of fruit and cheese PLUS meat tray for sandwiches along with lots of appetizers with 2 calls and driving 2 places today.  Just no reason for it. Leave the potluck for the holidays.  But, if it's someone I loved, it wouldn't matter. I'd just make something, grab a chair and go.

[edited to add] I loved Houndlover's answer!

Answer 3

I don't think they were being greedy, but it is pretty tacky. A reception is a party for the guests more than for the couple, and guests shouldn't have to worry about bringing their own seats!

Answer 4

well I might take it literally...and bring a dinner plate lol.....

I would more than likely decline the wedding invite....one doesn't ask a guest in the invite to bring food....those types of arrangements are made before the invites are even sent out..........good luck.

Answer 5

How casual is the wedding going to be? If the wedding is going to be at a park or somewhere else where seating is not available then I can see that and if they are looking for a very laid back casual reception maybe they want to have all their favorite dishes there and know who makes them so they are requesting a pot luck thinking that person or family will bring their "staple" dish (my mom doesn't even think twice anymore before she brings tuna casserole and cookies to pot lucks knowing that ALL of it will be gone when she leaves)

I guess if they are looking for a cheap out of renting chairs and paying for a caterer and they still want a formal wedding I wouldn't go, but if they are just looking to have a family get together and a casual celebration I'd go and maybe give them $30 as a gift.

Answer 6

I think it's incredibly tacky to ask guests to bring food to an event that they are also expected to bring a gift to (I know that technically gifts are always optional, but social convention says you bring one to a wedding).  I'm sympathetic to the cost of weddings, but you should have only what you can afford, even if that's only immediate family for a casual dinner.  If they were struggling that much, perhaps they could have asked just family to bring food, but never general guests.  As for the "bring your own chair" statement, I don't even know what to say.  I'm embarrassed for them, as they don't seem to have sense enough to be embarrassed for themselves.

Answer 7

If you really love and care for the couple, you might suck it up and go.  My mother once went to her boss' potluck wedding because she felt she had no choice.  My personal opinion is if you can't afford to feed your guests or even seat them, don't have a reception.  Or just have a cake and punch reception.  Again, it depends on how close you are to the couple.  Good luck on this one.

Answer 8

I would think they wouldn't want any guests, bring food and a chair, why not just ask for TV tray also. That means they want  a reception but couldn't afford it.

Edit:

Unless it was a long ceremony, since it was outdoors I wouldn't have even mention chairs. You can rent chairs for $2 each, so they aren't that expensive.If they wanted a reception but couldn't afford it, they should have just had cake and punch along with some dancing afterwards.

Answer 9

I'd be a little thrown off on the request to bring my own chair LoL

Answer 10

Um..I would send my regrets and mail a gift/check. Sorry, I may get tons of those who disagree, but I think when you are an invited guest that means you bring nothing but yourself to the event (of course bring a gift though).  This whole BYO chair, booze, food is NOT a wedding...it's a picnic.

Answer 11

cheap!!!! If the couple could not afford to provide chairs, or food they should have just go to the court house and get married.  Or wait until they have the money.

Who knows this may the wedding they have dreamed of.

Answer 12

I would say that this is not a formal, traditional wedding.  If it is outdoors in a park or someplace like that, they may not have seating available.  It sounds like the couple are having an informal celebration. I would bring a fold-up lawn chair and a pot luck dish and celebrate with friends and family.

Answer 13

After I took off my holier-than-thou hat which directs my brain to think (OMFG!), I would be grateful that I was included and open up my favorite cookbook.

Answer 14

Bring a lawn chair to the ceremony and chips to the reception! lol!

No I'm kidding. I think this wedding is more than its worth to go to. I'd send a nice card and call it a day.

Answer 15

I would think that the bride & groom REALLY want me to be there, but can't afford the ridiculously opulent party that so many think is needed at a wedding.

I would think that the food will be really interesting, since there will be tastes from many different kitchens.  I would think, "Gosh, what can I make that everyone will like?".

I would think it's great that someone has gone back to the basics of what a wedding is designed to be...it's not supposed to be a cash-grab, or an occasion to get tossed on free drinks!.  Weddings used to ALWAYS be like this.  It's only in the past 50 - 100 years that they've become something extravagant.  For hundreds of years, in cultures all over the planet, it was assumed that you'd bring something to share at someone else's wedding...if you were a pig rancher, you'd bring pork...if you were a wheat farmer, you'd bring bread.  This is a sign that what the bride & groom really want is to celebrate with you...embrace it, and have fun!

I would think it'll probably be a really special event, because everyone there will be someone who loves and is loved by the bride & groom.