ADHD parent-teacher survey found child has ADHD at school, but not at home. Is this true ADHD?

Question

The school teacher reported concern that my son has ADHD. So both the teacher and I completed a questionnaire on his behavior. The survey came back showing that he has ADHD at school, but it all came back as "average" for my questionnaire on his behavior at home, curiously...

I am going to a meeting on Monday, and the people at the school have told me that they've already decided to diagnose him with ADHD. They've assured me that children can have more difficulty at school than at home, and that the ADHD diagnosis will only help him, so I shouldn't fight the diagnosis...

Yet, when I read the criteria for ADHD, it says the symptoms must be present at school and home. Why would the school be OK with diagnosing him with ADHD, if he doesn't present ADHD symptoms at home?

I'm just trying to understand what is going on and how I should approach this next meeting. I don't think disagreeing would do any good, because they haven't listened to me so far. What is the best way to handle this?

Answer 1

Call a doctor and talk to them. As far as labels are concerned, I'd not let them tag him for ANYTHING if you don't agree. Sometimes I think a child (boy especially) is just not ready for what is expected of him and its easier for them to label than to have patience and keep trying other things. I ran into this when my son was in Kindergarten. I did the survey too and like you it was average for his homelife. I never went through the steps to get him diagnosed. I didn't believe he was ADHD or ADD and I refused to let them tag him as such. I did allow a specialist from school to work with him and it seemed to help some. I remember one of the things they did was give him a manipulative he could fidget with in class so he'd have an outlet for some of his wigglyness. I got so tired of that year and his teacher's notes, but we both lived through it. The next year he was alot better and its not been mentioned to me again. He did and still does seem to act about 2 years younger than his age in his decision making skills, but he's not doing it for attention or to misbehave. I've not had it mentioned to me in the last 2 years (2nd grade now), so I'm hoping it was just an age thing for my son and that as he ages he'll be more on par with the kids in his grade. Bottom line is don't agree for him to be labelled if you disagree, especially if they are wanting you to medicate him!

Answer 2

i think ADHD and ADD and all those other "learning disabilties" are bull.

just an excuse for teachers to stick kids on drugs so they don't have to deal with a little misbehavior.

we're not robots, we learn differently, you can't poison us into doing it your calm&quiet way.

plus  7-12 year old is freaking supposed to be hyper!

it's called CHILDHOOD. embrace it fools.

Answer 3

Schools can NOT diagnose ADHD, only doctors can.

If you don't agree that your child has ADHD and do not want to pursue it, all you have to do is write a letter to who ever is  pushing the ADHD  on him and state you want to drop the whole thing, they will HAVE to.

YOu wrote -  I resisted the initial ADHD evaluation by the school, but I was told that if I didn't sign the paper for the formal assessment that they would hold my son back a grade.

This is  a bunch of c**p. they can NOT do this. They are pushing this to benefit THEM, believe me.

And dont' EVEN let them mention meds to you.  It is ILLEGAL.  If they do, print this out and give it to them.-

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/D?c1...

WHY is the school pushing ADHD? Are they going to help him with it? Are they going to give him IEP or 504 plan?

A school does not legally have to help with any problems unless a child is in special ed (IEP plan) or has a 504 plan.

THey can 'say' they will do things to help, but without an IEP or 504 plan, they can deny it or stop it at any time.

Don't let them intimidate you. YOU have the final say, NOT THEM.

Answer 4

Do not let ANYONE assign a label to your child without your consent.

Have you asked why this label needs to exist anyway? How is it that "they have already decided to diagnosis him with ADHD"? Do they have a accredited psychologist or psychiatrist on staff?

You need to have them explain what "the ADHD diagnosis will only help him" means....what exactly does this diagnosis change? His selection of courses? How he is disciplined? Again, why is this necessary?

These people have no idea what they are doing...first, the questionnaire is only supposed to be completed by someone who KNOWS what to look for and understands both the purpose of the questionnaire and ADHD...and thus can distinguish the difference between behavior in the moment, or in children, behavior that is a reaction to the observer or is just acting...and actually ADHD symtomps. There is no way in h**l I would let ANYONE perform this diagnoses on my child without knowing who they were in advance and what their qualifications were.

Second...you are right...the diagnosis should be consistent regardless of environment...a person doesn't have ADHD some of the time....though you can have a mild case of it. Again, this is why the observer should be qualified and knowledgeable (preferably a certified psychologist or psychiatrist trained in the procedure / process)...and it also supposed to be the SAME person doing the analysis in varying environments, if that is required. This is so the observer can compare what they saw previously to current behavior, and also so that the assessment / evaluation is CONSISTENT...the same person looks for the same things and makes the same judgement. This is critical given that what we are talkign about is not an exact science.

I would STRONGLY encourage you to be much more active and involved in this, and less inclined to listen to things like

"that the ADHD diagnosis will only help him, so I shouldn't fight the diagnosis..." without gettng an explanation.

Your child is counting on you. You are their parent. You are their ADVOCATE...they are but a child, and cannot look out for themselves. This is simply not acceptable:

"I don't think disagreeing would do any good, because they haven't listened to me so far."

It is YOUR JOB to make them listen, and it is YOUR JOB to make sure things are being done int he best interest of your child. That requires that you ask questions until you understand, and that you do not allow yourself to be bullied.

STAND UP FOR YOUR CHILD AND GET ANSWERS!!!

Answer 5

FYI, they now classify ALL types of this disorder as "ADHD" so even if he's not hyper....its still 'ADHD' with a subclassification of "inattention."  Now, how old is your son? Has he always had these symptoms?

I worry that "school staff" has already "diagnosed" your son. Was there a psychologist or psychiatrist there for this? And as far as you fighting the diagnosis...FIGHT IT if you don't BELIEVE in it.  I would personally suggest you take your child to a physician and psychiatrist who are not involved in his schooling and have him tested.  

If the school continues to fight you, go to the district and get an inner district transfer or even home school him if thats possible.  I suggest you read the link posted below and good luck.

Answer 6

sounds to me like yet another school system that would rather drug a kid and quiet them down then deal with them. true adhd isnt present ONLY in any one place, you either have it or you dont, and i think youd be safe in saying your son doesnt. if all kids who are  on med for adhd were tested fairly and correctly, id say at LEAST half, maybe more, would be found to be discipline problems  and be able to be taken off the meds if people would just deal with them.

Answer 7

I would not give my child drugs unless his behaviour was extreme.

Another thing to consider as your child has learned everything asked of him is whether he is too intelligent for his classes and getting bored and far from being held back a year should he be put forward to stretch him?

i take it you ensure he only eats home prepared food and doesn't drink coloures squash and sweets to cut down on additives which cause hyperactivity in children.

It seems wrong that the school can classify him without  your agreement. I would go back and get a second assessment on your child taking all factors into consideration. If your child really does have adhd he may need extra attention, but as I sais unless he is anextreme case I would not allow a liquid cosh to be applied..

Answer 8

First of all, is your son actually doing so poorly that holding him back would be an appropriate thing for the school to do? A couple of things that you might think about would be:

Was this ever brought up by any other teachers, in the past? Might this actually be a problem between your son and this particular teacher (a very tricky thing to deal with and rather delicate in this case). Maybe this teacher is just more on the ball, and is better at noticing these things, but you don't say whether this has ever come up in the past. You also don't say how old your son is. Some of the things to consider in this would be whether your son had trouble getting his work done at school, in the past. Did he have habits of not getting the assignments completed? Does he have a habit of rushing through things, or skipping parts of his work, or just not getting it done? Does he forget things a lot? When he is at home, does he stay on task, or does he jump from thing to thing? Have you asked the teacher what your son is doing that makes her/him consider this as his diagnosis? Perhaps this would help you to understand a little better.

Another thing to consider, is the fact that there is some sort of difficulty going on within your family. If difficulty in school has not been a problem before, could this be a contributing factor? If he is acting out, then that might be another thing to look at.

Perhaps you really need to look at everything going on in your son's life and see what the problem actually is. And really ask what the teacher is seeing as the "problem" within the classroom. If your son is old enough, you might try talking to him, and see if he has anything to ad to the whole thing. You might also seek out other parents with children with ADHD and see if they can help you on this.

When my son was young, I thought he had ADHD, and the teacher just said: "He will probably outgrow this over the summer." ADHD was not so rapidly diagnosed, at the time. He did not outgrow it - he was actually ADHD. Good luck at your meeting. Get all your facts together and remain calm and collected.

---Did you say that he is doing well in his work? He "looks like he is not paying attention" but is learning well? That sounds a bit odd, in this case. You really ought to ask the teacher what the problems with your son's schoolwork actually are. Is he not getting it done? Is he having problems learning his material? Is he being disruptive? If he is being disruptive or not paying attention, but learing and completing assignments - I would ask everyone, including your son, some more questions.

Answer 9

Hi, if you are from the United States, I know what is going to happen during the meeting on Monday concerning your child whom they suspect has ADHD. The school authority is not going to force things down your throat. But they will pressure you to have your kid examined and probably medicated for ADHD.

What if you refuse to listen to them? Well many parents have discovered that if they refuse to medicate/drug their children, they may be slammed with charges of child abuse and neglect. They may even threaten to take away your parental rights.

So my advice is to quickly get your child diagnosed by a professional who is well versed with ADHD. Then use that report to fight your case come Monday's meeting. You need to get the professional's diagnosis report because right now what you have is just your word against theirs (school).

Worst case scenario is when the school refuses to listen to the professional and you. In which case, your only alternative is to move him to another school. In all probability, your kid may have a dislike for his present school anyway, and that could be the cause of his behaviour in school.

I wish you all the best. May you prevail in your "fight" against the school authority on Monday.

Source(s):

http://www.adhdquestionsandanswers.com/

Answer 10

ADHD is only a new symptom to describe a kid who is a bit wild...

My brother was wild in school, often not listening to the teacher, now he is taking over my father's company, so ADHD is a scam if you ask me

Answer 11

You need more and different testing.

A proper diagnosis cannot just be made from checklists by his teachers and you as parents.

It is made by some paper testing, yes, but also nutritional analysis, a brain scan - neurological studies, hormone testing, etc.

Time to do some research here, mom. There's an excellent book by Dr. Frank Lawliss -

http://www.theaddanswer.com/theaddanswer...

However, take the school up on their offers and suggestions for help with organizing and scheduling your child. But I sure would hold off on medicating... til you have more thorough testing done.

Answer 12

If he has ADHD he has it at home and at school. My son who is 6 has ADHD and is taking meds for it b/c if not he would not be able to do well in school. He is wild especially when his meds wears off and we had to get an IEP ( Individual Education Plan ) so that he hap ppl at school to help him with all aspects. Believe me if he had  ADHD you would know it. He may have ADD I don't know. Tell them you want an IEP and you could always call Equipped for Equality or tell them you are going to and it will get there but in gear That's what I had to do. They have to do what is right and best for your child or these ppl will sue them. Tell them that they will listen to you then. He has also been diagnosed by his doctor and as some has said it maybe a discipline thing you are wrong at least for my child if I had a video of him acting the way he does they would see and also yourself that your child doesn't have it

Answer 13

Ask your son's doctor to do testing.  This just took place with a friend's son - age 10.  School pushed for ADHD.  My friend just didn't see it at home, at church or while she volunteered in his classroom.  She shared her frustration with other moms and found out that pediatricians and family doctors test for ADHD.  Her son has been tested and the diagnosis is a processing disorder, not ADHD.

She took the paperwork to the school and met with the teacher and principal.  The doctor gave recommendations on things the teachers and mom can do to help this boy successfully process information.  He is happier, as is his teacher.

This mom learned that for some children, what they hear the teacher saying, is not what they write down on paper.  Also, her son needs directions one step at a time, not all at once.  The teacher is working with this boy, eventually hoping to build his skills.

Too many kids are being misdiagnosed for ADHD.  I learned too much sugar, preservatives and red dye hype up my child.  MSG makes my heart race, wonder what it does to her?

Please, please do not let the school push you into what you know in your heart and mind is wrong for your child.

Good luck!

Answer 14

He probably doesn't have ADHD.  School is probably just really boring.  The school wants him to calm down so they can control the classroom.  That is why they are pushing for it in lieu of the fact that he doesn't actually have it.  I would fight it, since you have real evidence that he is normal.

Answer 15

ADHD is waaaaay over diagnosed.  

Most children have trouble sitting in a desk for hours at a time, some kids just need to be more active than that.  Does your son get time outside at school everyday, is there any movement during class time?

Most of the time this diagnosis says more about the educational system than the individual kid.

As far as their threat to hold him back a grade - I'd find a new school just because of that.  He may be better suited to a Montessori or Waldorf school that incorporates movement throughout the day even in the older grades.

Good luck!

Answer 16

Get your son to a professional for a true diagnosis.  School officials can be too quick to diagnose ADHD and other problems (partly thru lack of knowlege and training, and partly for more federal and state aid for 'special needs' students).  They may well be right, but you need to know for sure, and the sooner the better.  I'm 48 and wasn't diagnosed with ADD/ADHD until I was almost 40.  When I was younger I was fine at home and in small groups, but had problems in school.  Later the same was true in the workplace - alone or small groups I did great, but not so much in larger groups.  My treatment has been almost all non-medical, but the medical diagnosis got me on the right path to finding the help I needed.  Good luck.