ADOPTION Open or Closed?

Question

My questions is what type of adoption would you chose open or closed? And Why?

Answer 1

Hi,

I think semi open adoption ( letters and pictures)  Then when the child is old enough and decides he/she is ready change to open.  Well if it is okay with the first parents.  Are you considering adopting?

Michelle

Answer 2

We are doing open, but because the children have been taken from there parents due to, well why kids get taken from there parents, we will be doing letters and pictures and talk openly about them to the kids, but at this stage the birth parents (yes I said birth parents) will have to get clean for a long time and then we would allow them to come for holidays birthdays etc.

Answer 3

If i had the choice i would always choose open.  I believe an open adoption imho, is the best for the child.  To be able to talk to her first mother, to hear first hand how much she loves you and thinks of you everyday.  priceless.

If i didn't have a head cold, i could elaborate more here.  Sorry for that.

Answer 4

Definitely open

Answer 5

Ahhhh, so I see that everybody has chosen OPEN. I was adopted and I think that OPEN is a WRONG choice.  It should be CLOSED,CLOSED,CLOSED.I was raised by a very loving family. All dead now- RIP. I had a wonderful childhood ! I met my adoptive family when I was 19. My adoptive family did not think it was a good idea ,of course. But, I was curious. I found out my parents were only 15 years old when they had me. They got married 2 1/2 yrs. later and had another baby- my brother. He was raised by his grandmother because EVERYBODY was too busy having a great life to bother with a kid. I also just recently found out I have another 1/2 brother 2 months older than me from my mom's best friend. Great ...... My brother is always in jail, prison, trouble etc. The family has $ but they don't really want any TRUE time with their kids- especially me. They flash their $ around and expect that will solve everything. It doesn't. I am 41 and have not been able to spend the night at my mothers since I was 19. Suites, Hotels, whatever it takes at X-mas. She is always too "busy" or "too many people" . She lives in big houses. My mom treats her live in maid better than me. My father took off and left his only grandson and myself to pay the whole rent on our house without any notice about 5 yrs. ago. He is an alcoholic who still thinks he is the "high school jock ". I just attended my 92 yr. old grandfathers funeral. He was all my so called "father" had left beside his kids (one in jail, one didnt come, and myself.) It really hurts to know what a messed up family they are. I feel I do not belong. My 19 year old only son has to remind me they are not our true "family". I was given up for a REASON. Let the adoption be CLOSED- plz. If you have to put a child up for adoption let all ties go. That is the reason you are putting the child up because you can't take care of them. Right ?

Answer 6

Open adoption.

Its my child, I want to be able to be in their life.

Answer 7

From my own point of view - definitely open.

I'm an adoptee who grew up with a closed adoption and it totally sucks not knowing who you are or where you came from.

Every human being deserves the dignity of knowledge of their origins

Answer 8

If I adopted a child It would depend on the circumstances of the biologically parents, like if they were into a crazy life style and could have a negative impact on the child I was raising. I would however tell the child that he/she was adopted when they reached an age that they could understand it.. and let them decide if they wanted to meet his/her biological parents and fully support my child w/ whatever there decision may be

Answer 9

Definitely open. If I adopted out a child I would still want to see it grow up and make sure it is being looked after. And if I adopted a child I would want it to know its biological parents and have contact with them.

Answer 10

I'll choose open because in the future I'll want my child to be able to find me just as how I'll want to be able to find it

Answer 11

I would prefere Open adoption.

For the Adopting Parents

Increased sense of having the "right" to parent and increased ability for confident parenting.

Potential for authentic relationship with the birth family.

More understanding of children's history.

Increased empathy for birth parents.

Less fear of birth parents reclaiming child because they know the parent and their wishes.

Delight of being "chosen" as a parent.

For the Adopted Child

Direct access to birth parents and history.

Need to search is eliminated.

Identity questions are answered (Who do I look like? Why was I placed?).

Eases feelings of abandonment.

Lessening of fantasies: birth parents are "real."

Increased circle of supportive adults.

Increased attachment to adoptive family (especially if the birth parents support the placement).

Preservation of connections (e.g., with siblings, relatives).

Lessens loyalty conflicts (according to recent research).

Exposure to racial and ethnic heritage.

Ability for evolving, dynamic, and developmentally appropriate account of the adoption.

Answer 12

Depends on the circumstances.....

If it was just a situation where the birth parents wanted better for the child, felt too young to raise or financially unstable etc etc etc.....then open.

But if it's a situation that the children were placed into care by the state for abuse, neglect, drugs, drinking, stuff like that and the parents made no attempt to straighten out and lost PR....closed.  I wouldn't want the children consistantly reminded and exposed to the situation that got them to where they are in the first place.  I don't think it would be fair to child to consistantly wonder and see them thinking "Why wasn't I enough to fight for?"

Answer 13

if I was to ever give up my child for adoption I never would  but if I had to it would be an open adoption for sure because I would want to let my child know who I am and why I could not keep them

Answer 14

I wouldn't choose adoption for my child.  I would raise him/her.

Hypothetically speaking however, if for some reason I couldn't raise my child (to save his/her life like Moses' mother had to do,) I would have other relatives raise him/her rather than non-family.  If it happened that there were no relatives and the only way my child could have a safe environment would be to adopt him/her out, I would have an open adoption (again like Moses' mother had.)  I would never want to risk that my child would for a moment think I didn't care or wonder about who I was.