ADOPTION when not married?

Question

I am engaged and was pregnant but lost the baby and was wondering if it was going to be hard to adopt since we are not married. we have to wait to get married for a while but want a baby before we are married.

Answer 1

A single parent can certainly adopt. However, depending on the agency that you are going through, they may frown if you're not married but living together. I'm not saying that it's right to do that but it's just the way it is. As a foster care worker, I can tell you that the easiest and fastest way to adopt is through the state. The down side to that is that babys are few and far between. Most of the kids available are a bit older and bring issues along with them. Good luck!

Answer 2

You could adopt a child without being married.  My cousin just adopted a beautiful baby boy and she is single.  She is a doctor and I do not know if that's the reason why she was able to do it.  Then again if you have the space and you are financially able to do it, then go for it.. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 3

You may adopt as a single person (one of you) but unlikely to adopt as a couple unless you have been together in a stable relationship for many years.

But more importantly, it is probably not the best for a baby to be parented by people who are grieving the loss of another baby, and who are not stable (engaged).

Why not focus your energy and efforts into making a stable and committed life together, then add a baby to that stable life?

Otherwise, it is simply too risky and therefore unfair to a baby. There would likely be expectations of the baby that maybe you haven't even realized -- to make you happy,  to make you more of a couple, to make up for your loss, etc.

Wait until you are a real couple who has stability and commitment to offer.

Answer 4

If you are looking to adopt but aren't married, it usually makes the process take a lot longer as couples get first prefernce.

If this is something you really want, I say go for it, but be patient and be prepared for a lot of paperwork etc.

Good luck!

Answer 5

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Answer 6

depends on where your adopting from, if ti's another country...they each have their own rules and regulations as to if you can be single or married, g*y or straight etc.

if you are adopting from within the US, every agency has a policy but you shouldn't have a problem.

good luck with your journey!

Answer 7

It depends on how you go about the adoption.  If you plan to adopt a newborn through a traditional adoption agency, you may have trouble.  There are always long waiting lists for these children, and married, wealthier couples have an advantage.

However, adoption is much easier if you adopt an older child, particularly one through the foster care system in your state.  The department of social services will do a home study, and see if your home is safe, you and your fiance will have to undergo background checks, and parenting training.  My husband and I have adopted two children from the foster care system (a 9 year old boy -- with us since age 5, and a 4 year old girl -- our daughter since age 11 months).  Children from the foster care system are the most needing of loving parents.

Answer 8

Why do you have to wait to get married? Why not get it done so it wont be so hard. Yes it will be harder as birthmothers tend to want some one already married and who is in a solid releationship. You need to really be married at least a year before you try to adopt.

Answer 9

I think you should go for It!!! As long as you and your partner will provide a secure home for a child and will be good parents to him/her then the both of you not being married should not be an issue. I wish you both the best of luck!

Answer 10

I believe that one of you will have to adopt as a single parent, and then the other can adopt after the adoption is finalized.  It all depends on the type of adoption you do, however, and the type of facilitator you use (agency or lawyer, etc).  

I do know that some countries participating in international adoption do not allow singles to adopt.  Some do, however.  And in private adoptions, it may be more difficult as the birth mother will generally most often pick a married couple rather than a single parent.  

I know that you are in a relationship, but since it is not a legal one you are, for all real purposes, single.

What are the circumstances that are preventing you from getting married now?  They may also be circumstances that prevent you from adopting now.