ANYTHING U GOT THATS HILARIOUS?

Question

Anything u want to make me laugh. like what something funny happend in ur day, funny stories, jokes, or blonde jokes?

Answer 1

There's a guy and a blonde chick sitting on a plane. The guy's really bored and the blonde's just sitting there. So he asks her if she wants to play a game and she says "no". He asks her again and she says "no". So he asks her like 10 times and she still says "no". Finally, she gives in and they start to play. So, he tells her the rules and he says, "ok: we'll play a question game. If you get an answer wrong or you can't find an answer, then you give me $5. If I get an answer wrong or I can't find it, I give you $500. Then he says, "you can go first". So she says, "ok: what goes upstairs with 3 legs and comes down with 4?". The guy pulls out his laptop and spends ages looking for an answer. Then he asks the person in front of him, then he asks the person behind him, then he turns to the blonde and he says, "ok: I give up, what's the answer?" and gives her $500. She just sits there looking at him for like 5 minutes and she hands him $5.

Answer 2

This frog walks into a bank to get a loan. He steps up to the counter and asks for an application from the clerk, Patty Wack.

"Hi, I'd like to fill out an application for a loan", said the frog.

Patty Wack replied, "Do you have any collateral for this loan; something to stand against your loan?"

The frog replied, "All I have is this statue of a unicorn."

"Well, I don't know," said Patty Wack, "I'll have to ask the manager about this."

Patty Wack goes to see the bank manager.

The bank manager looks at the statue and replies: "Knick Knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan."

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AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."



BLONDE LOGIC

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"



THE BLONDE'S DOGS

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?

"HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just c**p in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"



IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"



KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"



RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

Answer 3

Your mama's so poor she chases the garbage truck with a shopping list.

LOL!!!!!!

ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS!!

Answer 4

there is a place in ontario canada called crotch lake??if that helped ?

Answer 5

BLONDE JOKES:

What do u do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin out and throw it back!

A blonde, a brunette and a red head jump off a building, who hits the floor last?

The blonde- she asked for directions.

YOU'RE SO DUMB JOKES:

ur so dumb u got locked in a supermarket all night and starved to death

ur so dumb u got run over by a parked car

DEAD BABY JOKES (require a sick sense of humour)

What waves and taps on glass?

A baby in a fish tank!

Whats more fun than nailing a baby to a fence?

Ripping it back off again!

Whats more fun than running a baby over?

Peeling it off your tires!

Whats the difference between ten dead babies and a sports car?

I haven't got a sports car in my garage!

what bleeds alot?

Half a baby!

How do you make a dead baby float?

By taking your foot off its head!

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?

you take your boots off to jump on a trampoline!