AP's with multiple adoptions....?

Question

How long did you wait after your first placement to ask/seek out a second placement. Since the process is so long....and we want to continue with the same birth order....we are concerned that we may have to wait longer with our second placement (Adopting through CPS; our first child being 1 yrs old). However, we just brought him home...and are thrilled with him and things are working out wonderfully....but we want to have another child within 1-2 years.....so shouldn't we start the process over relatively soon, or does that give the appearance of not being happy with our child? Our first took 14 months before placement. Our second will come through the same CPS and same social worker as before....but will need to be younger than our first child....so I am thinking we may have to wait a while for a child under 3yrs old. Is there some type of ettiquite for this...or can we start asap? Thanks!!

Answer 1

Glad to hear things are going so well with your son! :)  Start the process now.  Most social workers understand its the length of time in adopting the next child and has nothing to do with "unhappiness" of your first child.  Just tell the social worker that you want them to be close in age.  Thats how we have done it.  More busy work but they'll have similar interests so that's easier.  Wish you all the best.

Answer 2

First of all, congratulations on your baby.  Enjoy your new baby for awhile.  I'm of the mindset that you shouldn't start the process again until you're actually ready for a new family member.  Right now, focus your attention on your new baby. S/he needs your focus now, and the adoption process would detract from that.  Things don't have to turn out exactly as you see them in your mind's eye.  Your children don't have to be the "ideal" in how far apart they are in age.  I thought that I wanted my children to be about 2 years apart, also, but we've had our daughter with us for almost 2 years now and have not yet started the process again.  I've seen that she is benefitting from our focus and just not ready again yet.  Our new plan is to start the process in maybe another year or so for our second.  That way, by the time our second child joins our family, our daughter will be in school, and I will be able to devote a lot of attention to our new child.  Not that you have to follow what works for our family, but you do seem to be in a bit of a rush.

Answer 3

I would start the process now. Keep your home study updated. Let your social worker know that you are interested in adding another child to your family and to keep you in mind.

We had 3 children placed within ten months of each other, they all have the same fmom. Before the youngest was a year old they placed two other children for foster care with us also.

Answer 4

When we were adopting in the state we lived in at the time--Oregon, we were told that "second" placements were not made for at least a year after the first placement.

This was the policy when we adopted 2-siblings and a 3rd was born about 6 months after the other 2 had been placed. We may have been able to take the 3rd but were told it would require a lot of work.

We were also told that as long as we updated our home study with the state every year that we would remain a resource for future adoptions.

I believe your best option it to just keep your home study updated and then when you feel the time is right start the matching process.

You should actually see the placement time reduce because you have a child placed already. If this child's placement goes well and adoption finalizes and everyone does well...the fact is that you would be considered a great placement home for the right match. They have experience with you so this means a lot of "unknowns" have been answered.

*

Answer 5

I believe you can start whenever you feel you are ready.  My daughter was eighteen months when we started the process again and I am estimating we are about halfway down the list for our second child, which would make my daughter around three upon the second child's arrival.  We also waited fourteen months for our first placement.

The way I look at pursuing the second adoption is that things are working out well with the first child.  If they were not, I would be less inclined (I think) to adopt a second time as the first one would need the entire devotion of my time and energy.

I guess the bottom line is you need to do what is best for your family.  My husband and I wanted two children and when we decided adoption would be the way we would form our family, we also thought that it would be best for both of our children to  be adopted because we felt there might be thoughts or feelings that the kids would have that we would have a hard time relating to since neither of us are adopted.   We hope that as they grow they can use each other as a support system (and us as well) to work through some of the issues.  It has been stated in this forum from adoptees that they felt they had nothing in common with their family...while we hope that our kids will find common interests with us, we also hope they can find some common ground being adoptess as well.

With that said, we are not adopting again for the sole purpose of a support system for the first child!  Also want to put it out that I am in no way bashing those families that do have a blend of bio and adopted kids.  Every person has to build their family in a way that they are comfortable with and this is the way we chose.

Best of luck on your second adoption!

Answer 6

Start now!  It does take a while, especially to get birth order straight, and especially if you are wanting either a boy or girl.  In your home study questions, just state that you are so happy with your present adoption, and really want to have a sibling for your child.  Many parents who don't adopt start very soon after the first baby is born, and it's usually because they are happy with their first!  Pregnancy also takes time so if you found a woman who is pregnant now, it could be several months before you are placed with another child.  Explain to your social worker if it comes too soon.  Good luck!

Answer 7

If someone wants to adopt a second child, I'd never think it was because they were unhappy with the first. I get the impression that is one would like a second child, they are extremely happy with the first child and all the people involved. You second one may take less time because you've already been thru the screening process. Your social worker would be the one to verify this though.