APs: Do you see any difference how you parent your child(ren) compared to parents who are raising biological?

Question

children?

My daughter and new son are only 3 and 2, but I definitely notice differences in parenting styles that we have employed specifically because our children are adopted.

Some examples are time-outs. Because of their neglect and abandonment issues, we don't think it would be healthy to leave them in a corner by themselves. They would still go to the corner, but we stay in sight.

And about a million other things.

Anyone else?

Answer 1

I think this a completely valid and thought provoking question.  I am glad that aparents think about these things.  

However it gives me a terrible case of the oogies.  I'm an adult adoptee, and I have said many times that I could never detect any real difference between the way I was raised and the way my friends were raised by their biological parents.  Maybe THAT was the problem.  

Answer 2

Yes, absolutely.  I have to adjust my parenting strategies since we adopted.  What worked with my biological son doesn't always work with my other two children.  

I can think of about a million things too.  As an adoptive parent, it's even more vital to "parent to the child", which includes taking into consideration the child's background and circumstances when disciplining.  

Great question.

Answer 3

Yes and no. My child is young enough that he doesn't remember his situation prior to us....but he is bi-racial and I am constantly overly concerned with how he is treated regarding his race.

We are stared at everywhere we go and people frequently make comments about him and his race--both in front of me and in hushed whispers when they think I am not looking. <<small southern town. It causes me to be very overprotective and often quick to react when someone says something about race...even though they may or may not be directing it at my child. For example, a little dog kept barking at my child while a big group of family was around us....the dog's owner said, "I don't know what has got him so excited." And my father says, "He's racist". I immediately took offense to that...though I know my dad loves his grandson and wouldn't change a thing about him....it just happens so often with everyone we meet that it automatically makes me angry and defensive. I am working through it!! lol.

<<adoptive mommy through foster care.

Answer 4

I value my baby so much, sometimes i feel its more than a bio mom does. But then heh i've seen many mom's - bio or AP's value their baby with their life.

As for parenting style. Mine came to me when she was 2 days old . So i never feel i need to treat her special. I treat her the way i would if she came from my womb.

Answer 5

I guess it depends on the circumstances.  Since we adopted domestically, from birth I don't think that there are any differences at all.  

Answer 6

Not specificially but it can be hard to isolate parenting differences based on adoption alone. There are certain tasks, like setting up (native) cultural activities and opportunities to socialize that bio parents don't have any reason to attend to. And I do agree that we value our child or take our parenting responsibilities more seriously than many.

But ultimately, the way that the child comes to the family doesn't seem to have a really big impact on how he is raised.

Answer 7

I definitely see differences in how we parent, compared to others.  It's hard to know whether it's a result of adoption, because we try to NOT make adoption an issue in our every day lives.