APs who adopted from foster care: were you asked to adopt any subsequent children...?

Question

that your child's first parents may have?

Our child's caseworker recently told us that the maternal grandmother was worried that her daughter and daughter's boyfriend were planning on having another child. It was made very clear that they would never be allowed to parent and the child would immediately be taken into care upon birth. She asked if we would be willing to adopt any subsequent children.

I don't know why this possibility never occurred to me, but I admit I was taken aback. I think the idea of having another child would be the last thing on his first parent's minds.

The social worker said this was a standard request made to APs who adopt from foster care.

I am curious if any other APs who adopted from foster care were told this?

P.S. We said we would want to keep siblings together so we would adopt them.

Answer 1

It didn't happen to us, but it did happen to good friends.  They had adopted two boys who's mother was a habitual drug user, the boys where the product of her prostituting herself for drugs.  About a year ago CPS contacted them and said the mother was pregnant again under similar circumstances.  The mother had already told the caseworker she had no plans to try and keep the child.

Sadly, they were already having significant trouble with the boys (both have behavioral and developmental issues due to sexual abuse, physical abuse, and neglect before being taken from their mother) and our friends did not feel they could also handle a infant.

Answer 2

A friend of mine works in the Department of Human Services.  She'd decided to adopt through foster care, and was on the way to pick up (literally driving 170 miles) to get her new daughter (a 3 year old), and arrived to find out that 2nd child, was voluntarily terminated by the mother, and she was asked to pick up the baby also.  She was THRILLED.  I also know one other couple who ended up adopting 3 siblings, after adopting the 1st, they ended up getting 2 biological newborns.

Answer 3

I know my next door neighbors adopted a little girl and then when she turned 3 years old she was asked if she wanted to adopt the little girls new baby brother but the neighbors had to turn them down because she already had 6 kids over there plus foster kids and just didn't feel she could offer another drug addicted baby her undivided attention again (the girl was born drug addicted).  My cousin Tammy also adopted a little boy and was offered 2 years later to adopt his little sister, she is thinking about it (but again her son was drug addicted and so isn't the little sister).  

Answer 4

After we adopted 5 siblings, our children's first mother had 2 more.  We were contacted and asked if need be, would we take them.  We requested to work it out with the parents, not CD.  Neither of the children were taken away, but as some of you know, their first mother died and now we are helping their dad raise them.  I don't know about adoption yet.  I would rather do legal guardianship, if anything.  

Answer 5

I don't know anything about this. I do want to say though thats great if you do that. I was raised by my dad and his parents. However, my biological mother had 5 more kids. We were ALL split up. It sucks because i can't find my brothers :(.

Answer 6

Yes, this was mentioned to us.

We adopted our son five years ago and he was the last of several children born to his first mother. The other children were all "in the system" as well. We were told that if our son's first mother had any more children (she is unable to parent), we would be contacted about adopting those children if we were interested. We said we'd be happy to adopt our son's siblings, but we were never contacted.  

Answer 7

I think this post points out how much Adoption isn't a solution.

Education, support and assistance is needed to help those that are struggling whether it be because of poverty or addiction or a medical problem. The vicious cycle will continue until its addressed. The band aids aren't working.

Answer 8

We've read a few bulletins that say that the mother is pregnant, or just gave birth, and if the parental rights are terminated in the future, they would be asking the adoptive parents of the older child to also adopt the younger child.  It's pretty standard.  They try to keep kids together.  The little girl we just went to committee for is the 6th child.  Three of them are with their bio father, and the next two are with an adoptive family.  The adoptive family of the older siblings really wanted to adopt the baby, but the mom found out she was pregnant and was having a really difficult pregnancy.  I wish they'd waited to see if the family were able to adopt her later on.  She was just fine in the foster home she was in, and it would have been great if they'd been able to keep her with her siblings.

Answer 9

A good friend of mine was offered 2 subsequent children when the crack-addicted mother who had them was not allowed to keep them  She accepted both babies and now 3 of her 5 adopted children are blood related.  She is not telling them this fact yet, she wants them all to feel equal to each other, but she might tell them when they are adults.