ASALAMUALAKUM BROTHERS AND SISTERS PLZ HELP?

Question

Asalamualakum brothers and sisters.

I have a question which I don't know who to ask has I am a new Muslim.

I've just got married 6 months ago, on the third month of my happy and blessed marriage my husband told me that his sister would be getting married to one of the cousins next year. But his cousins family when they came for the sisters hand asked that in return my husband should marry the their daughter.

my question is we are both happy and very much in love and just discovered that we are going to be parents, is it possible for my husband to marry someone else when these are the conditions? I would also like to include that at the moment my husband is not financially stable he has 2 jobs and can only afford to provide basic necessities for me, and also we live in the UK and the family is in Pakistan.

i hope you can help me with this query thank you very much brother.

May ALLAH Belisngs be upon on all of you.

Answer 1

Well ask Ur Husband To Abolish Those Backward Pakistani Tradition and Follow Islam the Right Path !

U can Simply File in A Case Against ur Husband if he Tries to Marry some Cousin From Pakistan !

http://www.islamfortoday.com/polygamy1.h...

Answer 2

It is not permited for your husband to marry another woman whilst he is STILL married to you in the UK.  It's against the law!  Also, in Islam he can marry another woman only with  YOUR consent  (if indeed you lived in another country where they allow this)

My personal opinion is this.  If he truly and whole-heartedly loves you then he would want no other woman!

Answer 3

He needs to ask you, and this is something that both of you need to discuss if he is not financially stable then how can he provide for both wives?....if he can then he can take on more than one wife. Also your hubby's cousin need to use their understanding and let the sister marry the cousin otherwise i don't think they'd make very nice inlaws for your husband's sister.

assalamu alaikum wb

Answer 4

i agree with the first 2 answers. besides in the uk it is illegal for a muslim to have more than 2 wives. being in a non muslim country he as a muslim should respect and obey the laws of this country. besides islam allows a muslim to have more than one wife on the condition that he is just and fair to both wives. if he cannot be fair and if he can not do justice then as per the holy quran he should marry only one. if he marries his cousin who is in pakistan then he as per the uk laws will not be able to bring her to the uk on a spouse / dependant visa as he is already married to you. uk law does not permit a man to have 2 wives. therefore by staying away from her he will not be able to do justice to her.

besides marrying a girl in the same family leads to a lot of congenital anamolies such as mentally retarted or deaf children. although it is permitted in islam it is not something that is usually encouraged.

if the family is laying down such stupid conditions for him then i personally do not feel he should marry his sister into that family anyways. it just reflects their background and their thinking. it is nothing to do with islam.

lastly but not the least if there is a likelyhood that it will rock your marriage and affect your relationship then he should really think seriously about it as islam is a religion which promotes stability in a relationship.

Answer 5

wait im confused..your husband's sister is gonna marry one of his cousins? and they want him to marry his one of his female cousins? who do they want him to marry...im sorry i dont get the question.....but i know that if the husband is unable to treat them equally (financially, physically you know like spendind equal amount of time with both of them) then he shouldn't take on a second wife

Answer 6

Your husband's assuming marriage proposal is acceptable and the news seldom raises an eyebrow!

In Islam a woman is married for four qualifications: for her wealth, for her birth - status, for her beauty, and for Deen. (even second Nikah - marriage)

Your situation is quite alarming and a cause for concern!

Immediately this should be discussed with a Moulana and your family for clear answers and disclosure of your husband's true intention's!

With the emphasis on cousin background interest interwoven, you can quickly be sidelined!

Your husband could be expressing views in your presence to please you!?

But in the company of his family hold another view!?  

Answer 7

salam 2all...

no ur husband soundnt marry no other sister bcoz he's got no money to take on another woman...

unless he wants to make he's way to h**l...

a muslim man need lots of money to have more then one

wife...

if he's got no money then NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAY...

ur husband must fear Allah tala

if ur husband earns about £3,000 pounds a week then it ok...

but wot the family is doin is wrong...

make lots of duaa to Allah tala to help u sister...

Answer 8

Divorce the guy, he obviously dont love you if he wants to marry another woman, Anyways your in the UK and polygamy is illegal, so go tell the police on his family what they are trying to do.

Answer 9

He cannot take a second wife without your consent. ie if you don't agree to it you must be granted a divorce so he can marry the new one. But most importantly: bigamy is entirely illegal in the UK and throughout Europe. If he attempts to marry another woman whilst married to you he will face jail. Best thing you can do is leave the UK if you want to live this way, we really don't want to waste our hard earned tax money on trials for bigamous immigrants.  

Answer 10

w alaykom assalam wa rahmato allah w barakato..

as bro sami said..

this is nothing about islam..

i guess these r his family traditions or something..

u shouldnt accept this..

men r not allowed to get married to women other than their wife for silly reasons..

and this is a silly reason..

just refuse that , sis..

anyway , always love and peace brought by islam..

Answer 11

what the????

what kind of Islam does your husband's family practice?

that's not Islam that's jahilyyah and that's exactly what Islam came to eliminate.

Answer 12

I don't want to say haram as I'm not really sure, but I don't think such practice is encouraged in Islam.

Also, I think it's really insulting to the poor girl, your sister-in-law, that they say such a condition as if they are making her a favor!!!

If I were her, I would just say no to this guy.

Answer 13

this is not from the values of Islam

These  arefamily traditions far from religion

Answer 14

No, you cannot allow him to marry another person. It is not your choice, it is the decision of current conditions and religion. This is stupidity that the parents ask for your husband to marry their daughter. This is not a business deal, this is life! Many pakistanis do this "wata-sata" and they do not work out. How can you let YOUR husband marry someone else?

Answer 15

whoa....6 months i hope you both have good understanding of each other. They are creating a deal here like i will buy one this and you give me this instead (your husband). If that's the deal then i think your sister-in-law can find way better guy....! Also in islam i think there has to a good reason to have a second wife? and both of you have to agree to this!

Answer 16

Aleikum salam,

Sister, talk to your husband and express how you truly feel. If you married him and don't wish another wife in the picture then you MUST express that. It's a right you've been given in Islam and you have the right to say no. This has got nothing to do with Islam and is a family tradition of some sort.

All the best to you and your family.

Wasalam.

Answer 17

that firstly is blakmail so no! n another thing is he duznt have to unless u agree to it... n as he is not financially stable it is not for him to do so

Answer 18

dear u dont worry bcz the pakistani girl will never marry the person who is already married

i mean ur in laws want that ur husband get marry with pakistani relative girl ...

SO u dont worry may be the family of ur husband just wanting to amke life happy after her wedding but for that one decission they r making worst life for u three i mean one u , ur husband and the girl from whose they want get marry

but really u beleive if u contact that girl definitely she will help u and hopefully she will refused to marry with ur husband

bcz here in Pakistan girls are very sensitive and they will never wish to buy their happiness by ruins other happiness

God Bless u

Answer 19

as salam o alikun

no 2nd marriage is not allow if ur husband is not financially strong

please live ur life happily

god bless u

prayer for ur future life

kuda hafiz

Answer 20

sorry but what the hack are the cousins family asking that is like asking if u want our son then marry my daughter no matter if u are married before (are the family from pakitan if yes then i would have expected it )

it is up to u if u want to share a husband then go for it but my advice is if the girl is pakistani then don't bcz if she maries ur husband then she will make him divorce u (u would think i am mad but believe me or not it is true, i know it has happned in my family and they are from pakistan)

dont they know he will be a father soon so they should .....

any way it is up to u two to decide but i think this is to much to ask and secondly u can find other pakitanis who are nice and don't ask for this much big favour

i agree with Dr.Einstien

best of luck with ur future

Answer 21

My dear, such "exchange marriages" are not permitted in Islam. If the condition is set like this that one person must marry his sister/daughter to the other in return for his sister/daughter, then it is not valid. These kinds of marriages only end up in family problems.

As far as ur husband's marrying another woman is concerned, it is permitted, even if things are going well between you two. However, it is not his obligation to marry another woman, unless he specifically chooses to. It depends upon him. If he has financial troubles, of course, he'll probably choose not to marry again. It's not as if it's his sister's right over him that he has to give this sacrifice.

Personally, I'd suggest that ur husband's family shouldn't insist on his sister's marriage to that cousin. If his family follows such unIslamic traditions and sets such conditions, even though they know that he is a married man, they're simply trouble makers.

I know that this is a cultural thing, which basically comes to my country from the Hindu Indian influence. Make a final decision with ur husband, and stick to it, my sister, no matter what. Don't be scared of the family, as they might get mad temporarily and then will probably come back to their senses. U don't need an abnormal child. Decide, and stick to it.

May Allah make things easier for u. (Ameen)

Answer 22

personally i think he shouldnt marry 2 wifes at all, especcially in these conditions but that is only my thought.

May allah put blessing upun you, your husband, and your child.