ATTN: army wives, really need your advice...?

Question

One of my bestest friends, he husband just got deployed yesterday...for the second time.,,,for a year. Her family and friends live in MI and she lives in WA right now. The fist time he was deployed her daughter was 1...but now she is 5...and is taking it really hard. She told my friend...all the daddy's are going to Iraq...but I don't want my daddy to go! It's heart breaking, because he is not going to see them for a year, and also they have a 6 month old boy. My friend is taking this so hard, she is 100s of miles from her friends and family and I don't know what to do for her. She has been crying all day...what can I do as a friend to be there for her? She is 27, they have been together since they were 15, they are soul mates. I cannot afford to go out there. As an army wife, what could your friends do to make you feel a little better? And God Bless all of you! I know that you guys go through a lot more than you get credit for!

Answer 1

Wow, i could not imagine what she is going through. Yes they dont get enough credit, they give up so much to serve this country. Being that you cant afford to go out there, send her letters/cards constantly. Maybe if u have the money buy her a webcam and buy urse;=lf one so u can kind of  talk face to face..i know she would prob wanna do this with her husband and if he can do it then send it to her for that. I really dont know...it must be so hard...good luck and even though i dont know her, tell her i will be thinking about her, and praying for her husband ot come home safely

Answer 2

One thing that always made me feel better was to go out and go shopping for things to send him. Make her get up, get dressed, and go out and about. Talk about other things, just to take her mind off of it for a little bit. Also, reassure her that she can't do this all year, she has to be strong for her little ones, and her husband. He doesn't want to call home and hear her sad, he wants to know she is okay, because he will hate to not be there for her. Deployments go suprisingly fast, when usually you would think they'd drag out since you are waiting for him. But she has to carry on. If she doesn't already have a job, this will help too. Even if it is part time. She'll be making extra money and she will have time to take her mind off of things for a while every so often. But like I said, for the time being, ask her if she wants to go out and get some things for a care package, or go on a walk, or anything really to get her out of the house, and just be there for her. You're a good friend!

Answer 3

I am not an army wife - I am an army officer and spouse.  

Listen, tell your friend to join her units Family Readiness Group.  She is not alone in this, and there are many wives/spouses who are doing the same thing.

Also, advise her to call 1-800-342-9647 or go to www.militaryonesource.com.  It's called "Military One Source," and is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.  When someone calls Military One Source for help, the person answering the phone has at least a master's degree in social work or some kind of counseling service, that person is trained specifically to deal with military issues -- issues that complicate military life. So they're very sensitive to what you ask.

There are resources available to her wherever she is.  It is hard, but the support is right there and she should take advantage of those resources to help her and the family cope with deployment.