Abe Lincoln is back from the dead! I just saw him at the RNC, has he come to steal our souls?

Question

Abe Lincoln is back from the dead! I just saw him at the RNC, has he come to steal our souls?

Answer 1

Don't panic, The FBI has had John Wilkes-Booth on ice for purely this reason. He's been cybernetically enhanced and now has a chainsaw instead of a right hand.

Answer 2

From what I understand he's come back to watch the judgment of the secret society that had him assassinated.

Answer 3

Good luck to him...

I sold my soul for my fetish.

Answer 4

He came back to apologize for the civil war. He said he wants to take it all back.

Answer 5

you might check to see if it hasn't been already.

Answer 6

Yeah, I saw him too.

Answer 7

No, he has come to free the bears from slavery.