Abortion is better than adoption?

Question

Do you guys think for some people abortion might be better than adoption.... There are many children & lots of children of color that cant get adopted. those children go on unwanted. Many of them (like black boys) will never find a home.

And if you do find a couple for your child, how do you know if they're really crazy and just hiding it so they can get the baby...

I was raised in a Pro-abortion family. I'd get the abortion instead of adoption.... I couldn't imagine my kid wondering through life, jumping from family to family, getting talked down to, possibly beat & messed up for life...

so, if i was a young girl who wasnt ready, chances are I'd keep the baby and be a poor mom, my second option would be to abort the child. But adoption would NOT be an option for me....

What are you guys personal view on this matter?

Answer 1

My personal opinion: abortion is wrong. You are holding a child's life in your hands. A child should not pay for an individual's total stupidity at not using birth control. I do not believe it is difficult for any healthy child be get adopted. Check your facts. And a young girl should not keep the baby. Adoptive parents are screened, your can have an open adoption to make sure the child is ok. The child would have a much better chance at a good life as adopted than staying with a totally unprepared mother who won't have the ability to support her child. Ugh, I could go on, but just the fact that anyone considers abortion really disgusts me.

Answer 2

I am strongly against abortion, you don't even give the poor kid a chance! If many families aborted then a lot that we have now we might not of had! For example:

if albert einstein was aborted then we would be living in the dark!

But, I do wish more people were up to adopt childeren for other countries.

Answer 3

I believe that giving someone the chance to have life is better than taking it from them... Sorry, I just don't think that your point of view lines up. People who chose to give their children up for whatever reason aren't thinking to themselves, "Hmm, I hope they get adopted from a good family other wise it would have been better to never had had them.." that's silly, obviously you don't have children... And just for the record even an embryo can feel pain at five weeks old if pricked with something it will bring it's appendages to its body (when most people find out they are pregnant) The circulatory system is working and the heart is beating by that time as well. So if your heart stops then guess what You're dead, and if you can die, then you have life...

Answer 4

i have been on both sides of this fence.  i do believe in abortion, i also have given babies up for adoption when i went to try and have an abortion and they told me i was too far along. it was just that there were 2 babies and it made me look too far along.

i think too many people are having kids when they shouldnt be. i think we should be like china and have a one child limit. too many people on welfare these days

Answer 5

I think it is up to each woman to decide what is right for her. I think for some women, abortion is the best option.

With some of my friends who were adopted, they wanted to find their birth mothers. When they did it was painful for everyone involved. The kids were upset that mom gave them up. Mom was upset because she thought her responsibility was over when she gave the baby up for adoption, and the adoptive parents felt rejected.

Answer 6

Abortion is MURDER.  Those babies are alive as soon as those cells separate.  If you are so worried about the child, then obviously you have enough love to want to keep it.  Babies should never be murdered.

Answer 7

How can you think that killing a baby can be bettter than adoption?  Please do some research on what the baby's go through during a abortion even if they are only 6-8 weeks pregnant.  Just make sure you are fully informed before you make such a decision you will most likely regret the rest of your life.  Remember the story of the woman that was having surgery in her abdomen area and was pregnant....the baby reached it's hand out to the doctors finger.  It was all over the news.  Check it out.  That is a real baby...not just a fetus that is unaware.

Answer 8

Whats the difference on who kills it?

But anyway.

It doesn’t mater what side of the issue you are on.. it is preventable.

It's not like catching a cold or flu.

Yeah, yeah Rape, insect or for medical and genetic reasons.

But other than that, there is a moral issue here.

Rape, incest and genetic deformities and health issues for the host, should be the only reasons for having abortions.

We should be beyond having abortions as a FORM of contraception.

Answer 9

I think there are enough families that want to adopt a baby that really don't make race an issue (and if a family does make race an issue, they're not a good candidate for adopting a child of a different race, imho).  I know several families who've adopted children (infants and older children) of color and have a multi-racial family.  One couple I know of is as white as they come and they have three black or bi-racial kids (one is bi-racial, the other two are black) two boys & a girl.  Another couple is extremely white, too, had two bio kids and adopted a black boy.  I could go on with other examples just from my own friends, but I won't.  We adopted two Hispanic girls and we're white.

The black boys who tend to bounce around from foster home to foster home are, sadly, generally the ones who have been removed from abusive or neglectful homes by the state.  ANY older child is a "special needs" adoption because there don't tend to be as many waiting families as waiting children when it comes to kids toddlers and above.  The statistics get worse when the child gets older - school age and beyond.  It's nearly impossible to place a teen in an adoptive home and finding them foster homes is even difficult.  This is regardless of race.  However, you are right, when it comes to older kids (and even infants, I'm betting) race tends to be an issue.  I don't care what color my kids are - they're just my kids.

One of the problems is that there don't tend to be as many adoptive black families as adoptive white families (I saw the statistic somewhere but can't remember where and can't remember what it is).  I personally know of several dozen adoptive families & can point to two of those that have black parents.  I'm not sure what the deal is there, but I wish it weren't a fact.

Another problem is racism - either in the actual adoptive family (people not wanting to raise a black child) or in the community (parents worried about the child encountering racism being raised by white parents).  Another issue that parents can and do consider is whether or not it is in the best interest of the child to be raised by a white family - can the parents make connections with black people for the child, can the parents make connections with other multi-racial families for the child?  These are concerns and they should be.  Parents adopting a child of another race have to be careful to always consider the child's needs.

Now...about the pro-lifers adopting.  I'm pro-life & I've adopted two children.  We're probably not done adopting yet.  I agree that people who stand for pro-life values should be part of the solution either in adopting, helping a young mother keep her child or in another way.

Answer 10

Melissa..... You really need to grow up. This is the real world.

Black males have a much harder time being adopted than white females.

Children wait on average 12 months to be adopted. Usually they are 4 1/2 when they are adopted.

Most children up for adoption are with foster families, usually for 8 months at a time.

Adoption is not permanent.

I was orphaned when I was 10 days old. I was adopted when I was 10 months.

Sent back when I was 3 1/2 and then adopted again when I was 5, kicked out when I was 16 because I wasn't 'their' problem.

Open adoptions are a blessing??? How in gods name do you have a right to say what's good for me.

You can never know all the circumstances of someone;s life, and you can never make a descision on what's best for someone.

For me, I truly don't know. I don't think I could terminate a pregnancy, after I lost my first daughter at 22 weeks. But after my experience.. I couldn't knowlingly put a child in the system either.

Answer 11

interesting....i read all of these very passionate, compelling arguments for abortion. And yes, there can definately be major difficulties with the adoption route.....but I'm wondering if the people on this board understand that EVERYONE has difficulties in life. IT isn't just people who are adopted or have put a child up for adoption. We all have hard times in life we need to push through and plow through to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Sometimes it seems like the people on this board are using adoption as an excuse for all their problems. That just isn't the case. We ALL have struggles....it's how you choose to look at them and turn them for postives in your life that will make a difference for yourself and each of those you come into contact with. Yes, being pushed around from home to home (which isn't the case for all adoptees) sucks....but basically what you are saying is death is a better alternative for this person! WHAT?!!!! It's better for someone to be dead than have an opportunity at life....pushing through adversity and becoming a bright light in a very dark world. You must be kidding me. I choose life, I choose life I choose life every time. Because it is the difficult trials in my life that make me powerful.......I CHOOSE TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 12

There are a lot of very one sided views on this. I've seen both sides of the coin and to be honest both need to be available in society. As the song goes, you can't have one without the other.

I'm not going to mention my views as I will get jumped down for them. All I will say is that we could all do with a bit more tolerance.

Answer 13

i think tht whatever you feel lis right for you and you baby is the right thing

foster homes can really mess up kids tho

and theres already so many kids who do need help

but i cant choose which wich i would do because i havnt been thru  a pregnancy or anything like tht

Answer 14

Adoptions better 100%.

I love your reference to unwanted black boys who will never find a home. =\

Nice.

If you do find a couple for your child, this is where lawyers and social workers come in for interviews, background checks and so on and so forth.

Your child would not be "wondering" through life nor jumping from family to family. Adoption = permanent home. Why would they be talked down to? They're a normal child just like anyone else. Why would they be beat or messed up?

So you're saying you wouldn't give your child the chance to live? To be something great? Who knows. That child you aborted may have been the next president of the United States.

You're making all these assumptions.

This is a very controversial topic so I'm prepared for a flood of thumbs down.

Edit:

Look, I didn't mean to start anything. I'm stating my opinion and some facts. Adoption is permanent. Children are NOT bouncing from home to home. That's foster care. How did I turn this into a race issue? I didn't say anything but repeat what you wrote.

Answer 15

I totally agree with you!

Answer 16

Older children do have a hard time being adopted, I'm talking about the children who have been taken away from their parents later in their life for various reason. Newborn babies don't have a problem being adopted, people are on waiting lists a mile long for a newborn baby! There are tons of people out there who would love to have a baby and can't and they are happy to adopt a newborn baby regardless of color.

Answer 17

no its not better but kids that are in foster home attend to feel angry and unwanted because they have no idea what they did to deserve this but if i was to ever become pregnant im 16 i would have to give it up for adoption in search of a better lyfe then what i could give her ( but if some one was raped and ended up pregnant then i would consider abortion but then its not that babies fault) so it would be adoption is better then abortion)

Answer 18

I think abortion is way better than adoption. Everyone seems to  think adoption is some fairy tale world with a bunch of loving people waiting to adopt. NOT. Children that grow up in foster homes grow up with mental issues, insecurity..not to mention the physical and mental abuse they suffer bouncing from home to home. Alot of them end up commiting suicide. Why bring a child into the world to suffer.. get rid of it while its an embryo, it cant feel ,think, or suffer. I think that all pro lifers should be forced to adopt at least 1 child, amongst the many millions that are up for adoption. Lets see how many of them will still be pro life then.

Answer 19

Well, if that's the way you put it, I'm pro-life, and I've always intended to adopt more than one child. If that's your criteria, then I guess that I'm qualified to say this:

There is a 5-year waiting list for babies. If you are in a crisis pregnancy, then you will have NO PROBLEM finding a good family. And you can afford to be choosy about who adopts your child. You can ensure they go to an excellent loving home.

It is a shame that millions of cats and dogs are destroyed every year because they are unwanted. What's a bigger shame is that millions of babies are destroyed every year when there is a FIVE YEAR WAITING LIST FOR THEM!

Choose LIFE. It ROCKS!

Answer 20

I don't care what you do with your womb....your decision.

Abortion, in general, is not a solution to adoption.

My 'little black boy' found a home, and I am thankful that he was not aborted.

<<adoptive mommy through foster care

Answer 21

I completely agree.

Answer 22

I wish that I had never read this question, and comment, because this subject is very close to my heart.  First of all, it is sad that some children will go from foster care to foster care. However, that will never make abortion ok.  So are you saying that it would be ok to murder one of those kids already born, because they will never find a home? Of course, not, so how can you ever say that adoption is worse than abortion.

If you ever got pregnant when you were not wanting too, I would pray that you would decide to parent , because I would not want to hear that you are one of those 4,000 women a day in America that have aborted their babies.  By the way, not all "adopted" children are in foster care and bounced around.

Why am I so emotional and passionate about this subject? Because out of the 4 people in my immediate family, 3 of us have been adopted.  I was adopted 50 years ago, then my hubby and I have 2 adopted children.  Our 2 children's birth moms were actually told that it would be better to abort them. Guess what? I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR MY LIFE, AND THE LIFE OF MY 2 CHILDREN.  And about abortion, it is not the easy way out, believe me.  It can hurt you physically, and emotionally. What if your mom had aborted you?

Answer 23

Abortion is murder, plan and simple. The real question should be, if a girl knew she did not want a child, then why did she have unprotected s*x?  If they were responsible then they would not have to make the hard choices in life.

Answer 24

Yes.

Answer 25

I do agree with some of the other posters who said that there are many things wrong with this question, but I will not attack you for it. It seems to me that you are confusing adoption with foster care. Although foster children can be adopted by foster

parents if the biological parents rights are taken or signed away it is not the same. It is one thing to put your child up for adoption and quite another for the child to be put into foster care. Foster care although it does get a bad rap helps many children. For every one bad situation you hear in regards to foster care there are many more that we do not hear that have helped make a bad situation better for that particular child. The media instinctivly does not report on good things (in most cases) rather they report on the horrible shocking things (ie think of the autistic children kept in cages). Bad news gets the ratings...good news does not. If you are adopted you do NOT jump around from family to family. The people who adopted you are now legally your "parents." If you put a child up for adoption there are many options to choose from.  Open adoption, semi-open adoption and closed adoption. Each option has it's own pros and cons. The best way to deal with adoption is to go through an adoption agency. According to wikipedia they do have a way to screen out the "crazies." "On applying to adopt, the potential adoptive parent(s) will generally be assessed for suitability. This can take the form of a home study, interviews, and financial, medical and criminal record checks. In some jurisdictions, such studies must be carried out by an independent or state authority, while in others, they can be carried out by the adoption agency itself" I was adopted when I was three. I do have memories of my birth mother/family, but I thank god that I was adopted. She was a good woman, but she just didn't' have the means (financially, emotionally) to properly take care of me. Was my life prefect? No, but then again whose is. It would have been soooo much simplier for her to get an abortion, but she took responsibility for her actions. She went to an adoption agency and helped choose my new family. She was very active in the process. It is true that going the adoption route is more work, but to everyone involved it is worth it. She walked away with the satifaction that I would have a good home and that she helped give a child to a childless couple. What she did was selfless and not selfish. If I had not been adopted then I would not have half the opputunities that I have had. It seems to me that you have a very narrow view of adoption because of your lack or knowledge/maturity. That is not an insult just an observation. The stigma that is attached to adoption is sterotypical, outdated and prejudice. The only way to fix that problem is to find out more about it and by asking your question you took the first step so give yourself a pat on the back.

Answer 26

You need to ask this question else where. Aboriton is SO SO wrong. Every child deserves to live. And if adoption is the alternative then it is the right choice not abortion.

What if they killed the mother who wanted to abort because they did not want to be responsible for there actions. Then it would be murder so is killing a baby born or inutero.

stop with abortion you are not god let him do his job and you do yours

Answer 27

I don't really agree with abortion, but the attitude of some people towards pushing adoption really disgusts me, especially those who seem to think that young, umarried mothers should act as "rent-a-wombs" for rich middle class career women who can't have kids of their own.  They argue about how this young girl "won't be able to provide for the baby".  Says who?  With a little support from her family and friends or one of the many Government Agencies or Charities which supports young mothers she might just be able to do so - in fact becoming a mother might just give her the push to turn her life around!!!  Noone should have their child snatched from them by snobs who think that "they could do it better" and equate good parenting with having lots of money.

Of course, in the case of women, like one I personally know, who are already happily married with kids and simply decide on an abortion as "they don't want another kid just yet" then that IS wrong and they should have the child and offer it for adoption.  There are decent adoptive parents out there (my own cousin is among them) who are being turned down because of the lack of available children for adoption and someone who is simply being selfish and refusing to put their own needs behind those of their baby should give the child up to someone who wants it.

Answer 28

Melissa, great job. This "question" has so many things wrong with it. I see another girl arguing with you but she is in the UK. We have 2 totally different realities. sometimes I wish the question posters would state their country so we can give them more accurate answers.

  How anyone thinks that killing their child is better than letting someone else raise it is beyond me. Sure there is a chance they will feel different in the family. There may even be an insensitive comment or two throughout their lives but if the alternative is to kill them...Holy c**p! I guess because I have children I can't picture being so hatefull and evil as to just kill one of them because they are not convienent. I feel like crying reading some of these answers. This world is so cold and selfish.

Look at all the thumbs down for people not wanting a baby dead! (?) I bet all those are from the adoption haters that are always on their soap boxes complaining that "AP's are selfish and don't think of the children". Now I see what you think about the children! You should be ashamed! My sorrow for you and my prayers.....well, maybe I shouldn't waste my time anymore.

Answer 29

OMG!  You said, you couldn't imagine your kid "...getting talked down to, possibly beat & messed up for life..."  but you'd rather kill it by ripping the baby apart limb by limb?  Every child deserves the right to live.

Answer 30

You have an antiquated view of adoption...  And, many of your "facts" are just plain wrong.

* Black boys are adopted every day.

* Children that are not adopted and "go on unwanted" are often not even "available" for adoption.  Or, could have been adopted earlier in their lives if their parents would have allowed it.

* Adopting families have to go through rigorous background checks.  You don't have to to get pregnant.

* Adoption doesn't mean a kid goes from "family to family".  Adoption is permanent -- not like foster.

Open adoption is a blessing for everyone.

Grow up, learn about adoption, and educate yourself before you make assumptions and statements as if they are fact.

CELTIC P:

I think you are misunderstanding my point.  I agree that I would never put a child "in the system".  BUT...  with open, private adoption, it is permanent and your child doesn't go into the system.  Children who are voluntarily placed in foster care are typically not available for adoption for many years -- but a mother can make an adoption plan any time and insure her child finds a home.

I am sorry for your situation, but adoption IS a blessing, far more than taking an innocent life through abortion for convenience sake.

Answer 31

abortion is never ok!

see, im adopted, which really increases my hatred torward abortion. because i know that i could have easily been an abortion child.. but my birth mom chose to give me life, and a family. abortion is murder! please dont think abortion is ok! its not! please, choose adoption!