I think I need serious mental help and soon! I am approximately 19 weeks preggo. This is my third pregnancy. I have two children from a previous marriage. In April I met a guy and we began to date. I'm 33, he's 26 and in the US Navy. We slept together and I got pregnant. The original plan was for me to abort the baby and he actually paid half. I went to the clinic, filled out the paperwork and I couldn't do it.
I live with my best friend Joe. Joe is 42 and we've gone through h**l together. I told him about my pregnancy and how I couldn't go through with the abortion. He basically told me in a nutshell if I didn't abort the child he'd throw me out of his home. After my divorce my two children and I moved in with Joe. Joe has enough room and I really have bad credit, no savings and although I make 75k a year plus my bonus I have mounting debts due to my child being in the hospital for many years.
So I lied and told Joe I'd have an abortion. When he was away in New York he called me and asked me if I had gone through with it. I told him I did. He told me it was a good decision. Here is the deal. I DIDN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT.
I'm now 20 weeks pregnant and although I could still go and get that abortion (up to 24 weeks here in WA state) I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like I'm risking everything and if he finds out I'm worried sick he'll throw me out and I will be homeless cause I have no savings, no good credit and NO family - not one family person so no support whatsoever.
I'm not showing yet because I'm chubby already and I probably can hide up to 6 or 7 months.
WHAT the h**l do I do? I'm am sick and tired and exhausted and I cry myself to sleep.
The father will PAY child support, we've already discussed!
What do I do? Do I just buck up and go get the abortion? How do I tell my two kids and how do I tell my best friend I lied about this?
I drank alot in first trimester cause I thought I was going to abort.
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