Abortion question.........years later feelings.....?

Question

I have a niece who is now 48 years old, and she and her husband have one child, a son who is 19 years old. When this niece was 14, her parents (my brother and his wife) paid for her to have an abortion. My niece, all of her adult life, has seemed so withdrawn and quiet, and disturbed. Is it possible that she has lifelong regrets over the abortion? If you have had a similar experience, how do you feel after years have passed?

Answer 1

Being a guy I obviously haven't had the experience, but it's possible. Especially if someone has shown her the movie "Silent Scream" that shows what happens during an abortion via ultrasound.

Being a parent I can't imagine having ended my sons life. I used to have different views on abortion, but now I think that if you don't want kids don't have s*x - that's why we have hands.

Answer 2

I have a daughter in law that had one when she was 15 she is 42 now. and lives in a drug-ed dazed world, she can not get over that she killed her baby. I also have a sister that had one in her twenty's,  and she too has severe depression problems.  It may not effect all, but it sure took it's toll on these two. I would be in the same boat had I  had help kill a innocent little one, especially one of my own

Answer 3

Yes it could be possible. She may not have wanted to get that done, but she might have just because she felt pressured by her parents. Maybe she is sorry and has kept it inside and needs someone to talk to about it. This has not happened to me, but i have friends with whom this situation applies and their parents forced them to do it. So maybe she needs to talk to her parents about how she feels if this is the same situation and maybe you could be there to support her.

Answer 4

my brother's girlfriend had one, and all of us were very angry about it. maybe your niece wasn't emotionaly prepared at the time, andd it bothers her now. thinking back and wondering what her baby would be like now. did she want the abortion or did her parents make her think she wanted one. did they convince her? maybe it wasn't what she ever wanted at all and that's why she wonders if she made the right choice. you should talk to her about it, it always feels good to let someone know what you've been feeling for a long time. hope i helped♥

Answer 5

i doubt it. it has to be something else. an abortion doesnt do that to someone. there is no attachment to something that isnt there. shes 48 years old. you mean shes been depressed for 34 years?????

Answer 6

Regina if ya niece is 48, how old are you? Secondly illegal s*x always have morally and mentally devastating results/consequences. Lets educate our young not to have illegal s*x and we can greatly cut on the abortion issue!!

Answer 7

the hardest part for a woman in such a case is living with the knowledge of what she has done and the fear of what she thinks she might be capable of...it takes some women many years to get over having an abortion...I would imagine that some never do...for some women they do not even realize what they have done until they give birth to a child and love that child... that's when reality sets in(it could be years later)

it seems there are only two sides to the abortion issue but trust me when I say there is a third side and that is the side the other two sides should pay attention to...the woman that has been through this and has had to live with her choice...

if the woman is a Christian and has an abortion she goes through a phase that she believes that she will go to h**l and nothing can be done to save her, she feels that way because the majority of Christians preach that very thing, forgetting to preach that Christ will and does forgive...many young women that have had an abortion don't  seek out Christ later in their life because they have been convinced by many Christians that they are h**l bound... just by hearing what Christians have to say is proof to me that these poor women are not acceptable in the mainstream Christian faith...

I am a Christian and have always voted republican one of the reasons is because I believe that we should never condone abortion...I however feel very badly that so many woman are lost in their grief with no where to turn...

always nosnod

Answer 8

I know one girl had almost had a nervous breakdown after an abortion and I know two more who regret it one who has female problems to this day since she had the abortion. But I believe that your niece will meet the child she lost one day when she passes over to the other side, it's sad that she was forced into it like that. I also saw on michelle malkin's blog where she wrote about a british artist who was pressured by her bf to have an abortion and found out she had twins afterwards and she hung herself a couple of weeks later, you can go to her blog and look in the category abortion and read it anytime, hope your niece gets better, she will see her child again.

Answer 9

I have never had one and don't know anyone personally that has, so i can't speak from experience, but i know that if i had decided on killing one of my babies, i would live in regret and grief for the rest of my life. and being too young to have a baby is not a good excuse. i got pregnant when i was 14, and i gave birth when i was 15, the father was 12 and 13 when i had the baby. so i don't want to hear any thing about being too young, if any of these people on here say they are too young, they could have easily had the baby and given it to a good family that would have loved and cared for it. killing your baby is never the answer, and to the couple of girls that said they don't care what they did, they sicken me, if human life means so little to them, i can only imagine how they would treat their kids if they did have some. God bless you sweetie.

Answer 10

Yes, it is definitely possible. I'd say it's probable! I have not had an abortion, and would never do it, but I have heard that (most) women feel regret to some extent or another. The abortion rights people want you to believe that it's the answer to all your problems, that you just have this little operation and your life will be better. That is cause they profit from them. But this is NOT true by any means. Abortion is murder. So if you murder something in your womb, of course you are going to have regret.

Answer 11

i would guess so coming from others have said.

Answer 12

Could be possible.  She was 14 and forced to kill her child..they should have never made her do that.  They should of let her have the baby infact:

I had a friend I went to school with pregnant at 15.

Anyway her mom was FURIOUS, EMBARRASED..you know just plain out mad.

She let her daughter have the baby but when she did she didn't take over and let her dd just go about and do normal teenage things.  The girl had to get up every time the baby cried at night and even go to school on 2 hours sleep.  She didn't go out on weekends and her mother also made sure she graduated.

Well needless to say this girl ended up having another baby but not until she was married about 6 years later.  ALSO her son that she had is a happy healthy child.

I know I rambled but im just saying that abortion is wrong and there are other options.  If my dd got prego young I would do the same thing that my friends mother did to teach your child that s*x leads to pregnancy and then babies and BABIES ARE NOT EASY to raise.

Answer 13

If she doesn't feel regret then she has no heart or conscience.  Was she given a say on whether to kill the child?  If she wasn't given a choice (only being 14 at the time), then bless her heart, your brother and his wife  should be the ones feeling guilty.  The child could've been given up for adoption to a loving family and had the chance to live life.  Was your brother and his wife just trying to keep up appearances?  Were they ashamed that their daughter was pregnant?  Yes, her becoming pregnant at 14 was a mistake but two wrongs do not make a right.  Hopefully your niece will find some redemption in raising her son but she may never fully recover and may always wonder what might have been.  Would the child have done great things for humanity?  Would he/she have just been average?  Or a tyrant?  She will never know. Maybe that's the hardest part.  Abortion is murder and an abomination to God's plan for us.  I wish your niece the best and hope that she can find comfort in God.

Answer 14

I had a medical abortion a year and a half ago.  No regrets.....I'm still alive.

And I've seen that piece of sh*t propaganda "The Silent Scream".  yawn.  Didn't change my mind a bit.

Answer 15

In 1972 I did nothing while my then wife contemplated an abortion.  On Feb. 2 of that year she had one.  I considered it a decision that only she could make and was prepared to support that decision.  The result was that afterward we drifted apart and were finally divorced ostensibly for other reasons, but in my mind the abortion played a large part.  That aborted child would have been 36 this year.  You asked about feelings afterward.  It should not go without notice that I remember the exact date as I recall the day in great detail all these years later.  While God has forgiven me, my most fervent prayer is that He will one day heal me for not taking a stand in defense of that child's life.

Answer 16

I guess it can effect everyone different,  personally looking back it was the right decision as i still would be unable to give it a life that it would deserve and wouldnt have accomplished all the things i was able to do w/o a child, and enough kids are suffering in foster care. Plus knowing that my choice possibly contributed to a cancer patient surviving is a good thing.

Its possible she suffers from depression not related to the abortion.  Was she forced to do it or was it her choice?  That could make all the difference.  How ever becoming sexually active that young may indicate some other underlying issues.  All of the women i know that have made that choice are confident it was the right decision and after a few years pass it isnt really an issue to them anymore. For me its more a "could you imagine the mess we'd be in" than a "what if".

Answer 17

From what you've written, it seems you're making a lot of assumptions.  For all you know, she never has given it a second thought.  Being withdrawn, quiet, and disturbed (?), could be a result of many different things.  Have you told her that you're concerned about her or asked what, if anything, is wrong?  Have other people in your family expressed concern?  What does her husband say?  Perhaps she needs professional help.  Having an abortion is something you never forget.  But if thoughts of it are interfering with the leading of a normal life- without depression- then there is a problem.  Best wishes.

Answer 18

I don't have experience from this personally, but have heard from others how they feel and I would like to share that....

I have heard that in your heart, after abortion, there is always a feeling of something missing in your life. There will always be a whole where that child has been. Even though an abortion may have been the best thing for your niece at the time, it does indeed create regret, guilt, loss, and I don't believe the feeling ever goes away. Now I do believe it can get easier to deal with, but only with professional help, because professionals are neutral, and they are there to help dig deep down into that seed that is buried and blocking all that guilt, regret etc. within you from releasing so that you can heal.  Your niece hasn't healed at all and it appears as though she is trying to deal with this all by herself not realizing that she can find peace with this and the decision she made a long time ago.  It's not too late to get that help. Family is great to be there for us, but in these circumstances, a therapist I believe is needed in order to tackle these feelings head on so that you can heal.

My heart goes out to your niece and the family as well, who is struggling with this.

Answer 19

It will always haunt you but  try to remember they say every sole finds a new home. So even though that life wasn't with you someone very special got it....

Answer 20

I feel nothing.  It was right for me. Once it's done, there's nothing u can do about it.  No point in living with regret.  If so, seek therapy.

Answer 21

It is definitely possible, especially if she was forced to have the abortion. Abortion affects everyone differently.

Answer 22

It's possible - I will always regret the abortion that I had.

She could contact a crisis pregnancy center, which frequently offers counseling and support groups, free of charge for people suffering from post-abortion syndrome (yes, there's actually a name for it).