Abortion within a marraige. your opinion please.?

Question

Bones, no i'm not talking about legal enforcements, i'm just saying that in this case his feelings and opinions should matter because it's a marriage.

Answer 1

She can consider his views, but it's her choice. If he loved her he would be supportive. I think that support would extend to raising the child, if she chooses to have it, as it is his wife's baby. But I think that would be extremely difficult and I could understand why he wouldn't want. It is an absolute nightmare situation. I don't think I would call either of them names.

I don't think he would be necessarily unsupportive for leaving, but  there are marriage vows...for better and for worse...this is definitely worse and I think he should stick by her. I can absolutely see why he would want to leave, but it would be hard for her as well and if he truly loved her wouldn't he want to help her not make her go through it alone?

Harriet

Answer 2

This is one case where choice is not just a euphemism for abortion. We humans always have choices about how we behave. In theory, it could be a lost marriage if he was not comfortable raising the child of a rapist and she was not comfortable with abortion or adoption.  Not that rape isn't a huge stress on any relationship.  I don't think he gets a say in whether or not she has an abortion - in the end, it is her medical decision.  But he certainly gets a choice as to whether he wants to stay or go, just as she does, and just as she gets to choose whether or not to have a baby.  Everyone has a right to their reactions and choices; hopefully they'd just take them very seriously with a marriage at stake.

Answer 3

Neither the husband nor the wife are in an enviable position in this case. They both have some very, very hard choices. Obviously, the woman makes the final choice over whether to abort or not, but if she chooses not to, I cannot blame the husband for being angry and resentful. It would take a superhuman, I think, to be able to love unreservedly another man's child who is the result of a violent act against his wife.

I would be sad for both of them if their marriage fell apart because of this, but I would not call either of them names, since neither of them has any easy choices.

Answer 4

He ought to have the right to walk away from the marriage if he wants.

That right won't stop him from being reviled by others for it. Having a right to do something doesn't mean people agree with your decision. On the contrary. The whole point of rights is so that people can do what they need to without it mattering whether others approve and no matter what they say. Rights protect the few from the many.

Like freedom of speech. Speech that's popular does not need protection. No one's going to silence you if they agree with what you're saying or doing. Freedom of speech is for the controversial artist or speaker. It's for the flag-burning protester. Are people going to revile you and call you names? Sure. Can they stop you? No.

Answer 5

I agree with Tracey.

I also agree with others who say that the husband should not be made to be legally or financially responsible for the child if he chooses to not want anything to do with it. With freedoms and choice comes responsibility. If she chooses to keep it, she alone should be responsible for it. I would hope that any religious person who is pro-life would consider the possibility that God would not visit blessings on someone in such a brutal way.

Answer 6

She was raped, the most awful thing to happen to a person. She shouldn't be forced to live with a constant reminder.  

Answer 7

The husband should have the right to have nothing to do with the child, financially or otherwise.  He should have no legal or moral obligation toward someone else's child.

Answer 8

I feel really bad for both the woman and her husband. I would say that I would get an abortion if I were the woman...immediately. But if she doesn't then she should give the baby up for adoption. I don't blame the husband for not wanting this baby.

Answer 9

The woman should have the ultimate say about what to do about this fetus, but since it's a marriage and both wife and husband have a say about domestic matters, so she should at least discuss about it with her husband.

What if the worst scenerio then happens after discussion: the wife wants to have the baby but the husband is unwilling? Then, they should try to work out a compromise----such as giving the baby away to adoption.

Personally, I would abort if I were the woman. The situation is so nightmarish that even adoption is not a good choice (it's only a desparate compromise). Abortion is the best choice here!  

Answer 10

I am pro-choice and I believe it is not the husbands choice... he has no say! If he don't want her after she wants her baby then he can leave!!

Answer 11

I am pro-happiness of children.  I think both husband and wife need to consider whether the child will be well provided for both physically and emotionally.

I am pro-choice only because unwanted children are more likely to have emotional issues that will extend into adulthood  and affect the overall quality of life.

Answer 12

I understand what you are saying. Men can react to a women's choice in many ways, he can leaver her for having/not having the abortion, he can stay with her either way, he can reject the child once he/she is born, etc

Last time i checked there is no spousal consent for getting abortions (which i think is wrong) so that isn't really a consideration in this example

Most couples i would think would come to a decision together on such an issue and not leave it up to just her to decide

I don't think he would have to support or raise the child in anyway if it wasn't his, especially with DNA testing, he just shouldn't sign the birth certificate

There is no simple answer to how two people might react to such a circumstance

Answer 13

I think that an abortion should be discussed between the two of them before any decisions are made.  Ultimately it is the womans body and she has the final decision, fair or not.  I think that if a woman gets an abortion behind her husbands back or without him saying "yes its ok", it can cause problems and maybe even divorce.

Answer 14

Being a male, I will answer from my perspective and I know my girlfriend well enough to tell you what would happen for both of us if we were married (Most likely will get married.).

First off, I'd KILL the son of a ***** who raped my wife no matter who it was. I'd get my .45, and if my wife knew where he is known to be, I'd find him, then I'd make him a corpse.

For me, if she decided to abort the fetus:

I'd be much more relieved that she decided to abort the child. This child would of been the result of an act of violence against my WIFE. Then after an abortion was had, I'd help my wife work through the trauma of her rape.

That son of a ***** better get out of town still, I swear to god himself I'd kill him. Most rape victims know their attackers, so it's more than likely she would be able to tell me who he is, Then I'd kill him.

For me, If she decided to keep the fetus: I'd be emotionally damaged that my wife would let the seed of a man prosper inside of her from a man who violated her in the most heneious way possible.

Especially when she took a vow to be faithful to me in marriage and a vow to be faithful towards her. (Which means, no matter her decision, I would not divorce her.) What I am saying is, faithful being honor my wishes, and I would certainly not wish for her to keep the child of a man who raped her, I would feel like she was honoring a monster more than her own husband. (Even though the child is technically her blood.)

I WOULD take financial and legal responsibility for the child, and assume the role his/her father. I would never tell the child that I am not his father, and I would raise him as my own. I would walk with this burden my whole life, but no soul other than my wife would ever know.

For some reason, I feel this would be harder for me to deal with if we had not had our own child yet, if the child was male and we had being trying to conceive when the rape happened.

Basically, I would raise the child as my own, and I'd die with the truth, the truth being the child is not mine.

Also, I feel this would make it hard to have kids of my own with my wife, but I would NOT divorce her no matter what.

As for my girlfriend, I know she would abort the fetus, she knows me well enough to know that if this were to happen after we are married, that it would pain me greatly.

In a lot of ways, if the fetus is birthed and made a child, this will be more of a burden for the husband than it ever will be for the wife.

One more time, I'D KILL THE SOB WHO RAPED MY WIFE! ID KILL HIM I SWEAR TO GOD!

btw, shes only my girlfriend atm :-)

Answer 15

Wow, that's tough.  The husband's feelings do count but it has to be her decision.  

Answer 16

There are other options to abortion. They could allow an adoption if the father is not known. If he is known by keeping the child they could open thier lives to this degenerate for the next 18 yrs. If they are not able to concieve themselves the could keep child. Any way it goes they need to talk to a councilor soon to help them decide. If he would leave her it needs to be said . If he would stay married and not love this child even if she becomes attached that will effect her emotional well being for the rest of her life. Marriage is a committment not a living arrangement.

Answer 17

In this scenario, I would hope the woman would allow the husband's feelings to influence her decision, but she will still have the final say in whether to abort or carry the pregnancy to term.  The key issue here is a woman's right to bodily integrity, and that becomes even more important to a woman who has survived the ultimate physical and psychological violation, rape.

A compassionate husband would understand his wife's need to control what is happening to her own body, and why it is even more important for her to exercise that control over her body after surviving a rape.

Answer 18

Well a few things...I think the father, husband or male involved with the pregnancy or involved with the woman(in this case).  His thoughts on the child should, always be taken into consideration.

But I dont think this is something that should/ can be legally enforce.

No he doesn't have to stay in the marriage, don't think that is a good reason for divorce...however we people with less reason get divorced all the time.

Other is realistically how many women, who have been raped.  Really want to keep the child?  If only 10% of rapes lead to pregnancy that leaves what .5%(random guess) of them wanting to keep the child.