About Talking to brother about s*x?

Question

I asked a question on here a couple days ago about talking to my little brother, who i am raising about s*x. He is twelve and i am twenty one. I asked wether i should talk to him or have my boyfriend do it. I decided that i should have my boyfriend do it because it would be easier for my brother since they are both guys. But at least three or four people mention not to let my boyfriend take it to far or to make sure you know what he is telling him. What did they mean by taking it too far?

Answer 1

Men sometimes have a different way of explaining s*x, they may be to explicit for what a 12 yr old should hear. Maybe a better approach is asking the brother what he knows or thinks he knows so far about s*x, and correct him on anything hes wrong about, because believe me, kids these days know alot more than they should at 12, but most of it is false info that they hear from their "friends"  

Answer 2

I disagree with the above poster.  He needs to know more than to "just wear a condom."  He needs to understand about pregnancy and about STDs and what activities will put him at risk for contracting them.

As for having your boyfriend talk to him...I would suggest that you BOTH talk to him about it.  That way you can monitor what is said and know that all the bases are covered.  You have also allowed him to talk to your boyfriend and know that he can come to the guy with questions.

Answer 3

I think taking it to far would be like teaching him about all the differnt kinds  

all he pretty much needs to tell him is that if he ever feels the urge to ALWAYS wear a condom

Answer 4

by going into too much detail. just tell him the basics and he'll find out for himself. tell him to wear a condom etc etc. or you could be there wen ur bf tells him

Answer 5

They were the typical nay sayers who think your boyfriend will molest your brother or something.  I am sure you would not have considered him as a resource if you did not trust him, and that you would have talked to him first about what you wanted him to address.    I was one of those who  suggested you use the boyfriend, if he is willing. Obviously to me you would not have brought him up if he wasn't a good guy who is willing to help you out.  

Good luck!

Answer 6

just have him tell your brother about.. getting b-o-n-e-rs and stuff and to always use a condom if he decides to have s*x.. his school will pretty much cover it all.. or his friends will tell him stuff... my dad never told me.  

Answer 7

or going into detail about times ur boyfriend had s*x...stuff like tha.  

Answer 8

I think they meant you should set some ground rules as to what you think is appropriate subject matter and how specific it should be.

Like, is your aim to just educate him on how reproduction works? Or is it to help him understand how sexual relationships should be handled?

For example, you might not be comfortable if your boyfriend ends up going into an in depth conversation about your s*x lives when your brother had a simple question.

Also consider your brother's current level of knowledge and maturity. Honestly, if I were twelve I'd rather not talk about s*x with the guy who's doing my sister. It would just conjure up too many images I'd rather not have at such a young age.

Answer 9

Guys exaggerate things.  So I think thats what they meant.  If it was me I'd just give him a box of condoms and say if u have s*x wear one of these or you'll have a baby to take care of,  if you need more tell me.  They are gonna figure it out sooner or later and you might as well start them out right then have him come home and say i'm gonna be a daddy, what do i do now.  Thats why most guys become a dad cuz no one would buy them condoms.

Answer 10

well guys have different mentality and he (ur boyfriend) might say things he shouldnt say. like for example (he talks to him about his experiences and personal stuff) i think u should talk to ur little brother after all he is UR little brother! I talked to mine about but i perfer them to learn at school its much easier n u dont have to complicate urself!

Answer 11

just make sure your boyfriend warns him to wear a condom because of diseases.  it would definitely be less awkward in the long term for your boyfriend to talk to him than you.  if you like the guy enough to date him he probably will give good advice, just make sure that he mentions wearing a condom so you don't get a disease, even if the girl says she's clean.

Answer 12

I agree - ask him what he knows about s*x, and correct any incorrect notions he may have.  Emphasize that if he really wants to, that it should be someone he at least feels safe with - and to use a condom and birth control.

Answer 13

well if you want him toi learn clean words like p***s or Vigiana then its not to far. but the big dirty words you dont want him to know. you should teach him facts and leave your methiods out (unless you and him are comfortable) and your opionons out. if your boy friend tells him more then facts to me its to far. i say. insted of teaching about s*x. teach him about puberty in both male and female. that info will tell him all but the how to. then its easyer and there is plenty of kids sight explaing it.

" http://kidshealth.org/kid/grow/ "

use your best judgement and not someone elses. when it come to things you sont know about boys. you have your boyfriend and millions here who can help.